


Pushing Boundaries

by Hyperionova



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: College, M/M, Religious Discussion, Smut, professor/student
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:53:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: When Sehun first let his best friend talk him into taking Religious Studies for extra credit, he expected it to be a total snore fest. What he was not counting on was falling head over heels for his hard-to-acquire professor.
Relationships: Oh Sehun/Original Character(s), Oh Sehun/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work deals with some discussions regarding religion, which in no way reflects the author's own beliefs. No disparagement or offence was meant towards any faith. The work also contains heavy smut.

“Good morning,” said Sehun, as he entered the lecture hall and plumped into a seat next to friend, Wendi. If it weren't for her and her exasperating persistence, he would not have picked this class for extra credits. And he might have missed out on the best thing that had ever happened in his life.

“Oh, you seem to be in a chirpy mood,” said Wendi with a lopsided grin.

Retrieving his laptop from the backpack, Sehun responded with a smirk.

“Remember how much you hated me for talking you into taking Religious Studies for extra credits with me?” said Wendi, bumping her shoulder against Sehun’s. “Now, you show up to every single one of the lectures, even the early morning ones, which cannot be said for the other courses.”

“I’ve just come to like the subject,” said Sehun, rather unconvincingly.

“Uh huh,” said Wendi. “I’m sure it’s the _subject_ that you like. You said that you had absolutely no interest in learning about what the big Bible thumpers had to say.”

“I was mistaken,” said Sehun. “There's a lot of interesting things to learn in this class.”

This was in fact their 5th week into the course. As Ben Henry had so articulately put it, _‘A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination, and instil a love of learning.’_

As a matter of fact, a good teacher could do a lot more than that.

The Religious Studies lectures were always full house, as opposed to what one might believe. While it might not be the most interesting of subjects, it was an easy grade. It was a significantly short course with hefty credits, which inspired most of the students to select it for their elective semester. At least it was why Sehun had gone for it in the beginning. Not Wendi, though. She was genuinely interested in the topic, but apparently not enough to go through it on her own. Which was why she begged Sehun to take it with her, nailing him with all the important points and reasons as to why he should take this course.

 _“You don’t even have to show up to the classes,”_ she had said in the beginning. _“I’ll go to them and share my notes with you.”_

It seemed like a fair deal. Sehun had four other courses this term, so he welcomed any help he could get. So, he agreed to take the subject with Wendi, even though he had zero interest in anything religion related. While he was not faithless and he believed that there was a greater power in the universe, he did not grow up in a household where religions were endorsed or even practiced. 

So, when he showed up to the first class, he did not expect to stay through even the first fifteen minutes. Although he had promised Wendi that he would accompany her to the first lecture, he had planned to slip away at some point.

And then _he_ walked in.

“Have you thought about what your assignment is going to be about?” Wendi asked while Sehun idly scrolled through his social media pages on his computer.

They always sat upfront in the lecture hall, all the way down. Sehun thought of it as the front-row seats to a smoke show. Unfortunately, it was also the row that was most coveted by the class. So, he needed to make sure that he showed up earlier than everyone else. But most of the time, Wendi was the one to show up first and she always saved him a seat. It was not great for their necks when they had to look up at the projection screen, but Sehun rarely even looked at it.

“Uh... No,” he said, frowning a little. Yes, in the beginning, he had figured that it would be an easy course with an easy grade. But insofar, this class posed the highest chance of him failing. Because he never paid attention to the subject matter. In fact, he had never been this distracted in a class before.

Wendi straightened up in her seat and made a face at Sehun. “You should have started already.”

“I know,” sighed Sehun.

“It’s a big assignment,” she huffed. “

“I know.”

“Which we have to turn in in twelve weeks.”

“I know.” All that Sehun could think about then was that he would get to be in this class for twelve more weeks.

“Why are you smiling?” asked Wendi. “You should have a preliminary plan already. You have to hand it in to the professor and get some feedback.”

“I’m working on it,” lied Sehun. He had given it some thoughts, but he had not written anything down yet. As much as he wanted to approach the professor and use the opportunity to talk to him, he did not want to humiliate himself by presenting some half-assed idea. The last thing he needed right now was to make a fool of himself in front of the professor, who might just turn out to be the love of his life.

So, he had to make sure that he came up with something solid before he could turn it in. And that was where he was stuck. He had no clue what a good idea would be. He could ask Wendi for help, but she would just micromanage him and write the whole thing down for him out of sheer frustration. He did not want to deal with that right now.

Even though he wanted it to be an easy term more than anything, he genuinely did want to come up with something for the assignment by himself that would impress the man of his dreams.

Well, he was possibly the man of all his students’ dreams.

But how many of them actually left the hall after each lecture with a heart that weighed the mass of a boulder and stayed awake for hours every night, thinking endlessly of those calm green eyes, thick veins that protruded through almost every part of the exposed skin, the dark neatly gelled hair, sharp angular jawbone that was always covered by a closely trimmed beard, the wide shoulders that never slouched, the thick chest muscles that stretched the limits of his shirts?

And let’s not forget the way he taught. There was a fervour in his eyes when he talked about the things he clearly held a deep passion for. He made the longwinded text about Nietzsche’s questioning the existence of God sound interesting, for crying out loud! If his appearance weren’t so darn distracting, Sehun might have had a chance of passing this course, because he truly was great at teaching.

But clearly, his teaching was not half as interesting as how handsome he was or how his deep voice resounded and vibrated through the massive hall, seeping into Sehun’s bloodstream.

If he could write the assignment on how religiously he worshipped the man in silence, Sehun would have written a three-hundred-page book by now.

The lecture hall turned as silent as a graveyard the instant Associate Professor Aaden Ford – a Religious Studies and Theology PhD – strutted in, clutching a laptop in one arm and a thermos in the other.

“Good morning,” he said with that crazy handsome smile of his, while he set up the projector, and his voice rang in Sehun’s ears like an alarm clock.

He sat frozen in his seat, as always, holding his breath, quietly peeping over the top of his laptop screen. He’d melt into the ground if he could. He was not the only one who was staring. His classmates drooled over the professor as much as he did, if not more.

But theirs was just an attraction. What Sehun actively felt for the man was torture.

Aaden was wearing a black shirt today, tucked into his black pants, no necktie. He had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as usual and sported a _Rolex_ on his left wrist. Sometimes, he wore a blazer on top, which was only more detrimental to Sehun’s wellbeing.

Even from the podium, Sehun could smell the man’s refreshing, musky, lemony cologne.

“Hope you all had a nice weekend,” he said, still hooking his computer up to the projector. He did not expect any response from his forty-three students, but he briefly looked up from his laptop to smile at them, anyway.

Sehun clenched his teeth.

He was _so_ nice. In the eight lectures they’d had (two lectures per week), not once had he ever been anything but nice, polite, and accommodating. Even when he received offensive questions from some of his students or nothing but silence after posing a question to the class in the first couple of sessions. He’d answer every question, both the students’ and his own unanswered ones, with a level head and a composed demeanour. Soon, he had managed to inspire great active participation from his students, who were more than eager to please and impress him. Not many professors had his temperament. He was both kind and firm.

Sehun had not mustered the courage to invite such attention to him yet, though. And he was certain that he would just blether like a moron if he were to speak to Aaden in class.

Stepping away from the podium, Aaden advanced a few steps, rubbing his hands together. Those magical, veiny, big hands of his that made Sehun scream into his pillow almost nightly.

He would never forget the first time he saw Aaden when he sauntered into the lecture hall with a killer confidence that was both intimidating and humble at the same time. Even though he did not look all that much like a teacher, he certainly was meant to be one.

“We’re going to be looking at the Buddhist’s concept of reincarnation, as well as the other religions and cultures that hold such belief today,” he said in a voice that never wavered. The class listened. Sehun did, too. But he did not pay attention to the words so much as he did to the guttural voice and those full lips.

He wondered how Aaden could always be in command of the room, outshining everyone else. He was like the gold star sitting on top of a Christmas tree.

“But before that,” he continued. “I’d like to inform you that if you need any help with your assignment, you are more than welcome to book a timeslot with me. Even if it’s out of office hours. Whatever that suits both our schedules best. I want you all to get the best and most out of this course, and I want you to be able to receive all the help you can for your assignment. I want to read some really good stuff at the end of this semester, and I can already confidently say that you lot are capable of it.”

Someone raised their hand then.

“Yes,” said Aaden, pointing to the girl who had her hand held up.

“When can we book an appointment with you? Is it just one session per student?” she asked.

“Not at all,” he said. “As many times as you need, but we’ll try to keep it at a minimum. So, short meetings online or emails when you just need a few doubts cleared up because there are _forty-three_ of you. You can also just come down here during our breaks. But when you need real help, maybe to get started or how to structure your paper or you don’t know how to acquire resources, then we can have a meeting.”

The girl thanked him, a blush painting her cheeks.

Sehun jumped a little in his seat when Wendi nudged an elbow into his side. “What?” he hissed.

“You should book a meeting with him immediately,” she told him in a quiet whisper. “He can maybe advise you on where to start.”

Sehun swallowed hard. “I’m good.”

Wendi rolled her eyes. “I know when you’re lying, Sehun. Because you are a bad liar. I know you have nothing. Just book a damn meeting with Ford, will you?”

Sehun ignored her and turned his attention back to Aaden. He would not stop entertaining the idea of sitting alone with Aaden in a room for the rest of the day.

He sighed.

He had not been infatuated with many people in his life. When he was a child, he thought that he was in love with Jennifer Lopez. Then growing up, he watched every football match if Tom Brady played in it. In his sophomore year of high school, he had this mad crush on the captain of the basketball team. He dated a boy briefly in senior year. He dated a girl briefly the first year of college. He had a few flings here and there, especially during summer. But nothing lasted. And none of them had made him feel the way he felt now.

The fire in the pit of his stomach. The tightness in his chest. The jackhammering heart. The fireworks inside him.

And it was all for someone he could never even dream of having.

Aaden was not only a professor in his mid-thirties. He had also dedicated his life to teaching faith and all things religion. The gold cross around his neck which peeped out of the collar of his shirt sometimes and the passional lecture he had taken last week on Biblical studies had proven, in no uncertain terms, that he was a devout Christian.

Sehun saw no wedding ring on either hand, so he was possibly still unmarried. That did not mean he was single, though.

Aaden had little to no online presence, too. So, it was impossible to find out anything worthwhile about him on the internet. And trust Sehun, he had done a thorough search.

Not knowing enough about the man drove Sehun mad sometimes. Falling for someone without knowing much about them should be a big no-no. But it was also out of Sehun’s control, and he pinned the blame on his hormones and heart.

Still, he needed to know more. Was Aaden married? Had he ever been married? Did he have children? Did he have a girlfriend? Was he a serial killer? Did he pour his milk over his cereal or vice versa? Where did he live? How good was he with his hands?

The things Sehun did know about Aaden (though not many) were:

  * preferred coffee over tea – he always showed up to class with a thermos of coffee with him.
  * was very handsome – well, anyone who was not blind could easily vouch for that. He had green eyes and dark hair.
  * loved working out – had a strapping muscled frame to match his height, all of which Sehun obsessed over every minute of the day.
  * had pets – had noticeable strands of fur on his clothes sometimes.
  * liked black – 8/10 times he wore black clothing.
  * polite and patient – or he simply had a great anger management. He was a teacher after all.
  * religious – this didn’t take much observation.
  * possibly straight – and even if he weren’t, he did not seem the kind to ditch his faith and get a little experimental after two beers. And even if he _were_ that sort of a person, he most likely would not want to cock up his career by doing it with one of his students, who was at least a decade younger than him.



In short, Sehun’s infatuation with the Religion Students professor was a DEAD END.

But in hindsight, this whole ordeal was silly and unrealistic from the very start. All that Sehun was doing was stroking a fantasy that had no way of becoming real.

* * *

This had become part of Sehun’s daily routine. Staring at a blank document for hours on end while his thoughts were elsewhere.

“Sehun,” Wendi called, not for the first time since Sehun had spaced out, from across the table.

They both had a free period, so Wendi suggested that they got some lunch from the cafeteria and head over to the library to work on their assignments.

“Are you doing anything or are you just daydreaming again?” she asked. She was very perceptive.

Sehun sighed. “I never should have taken this class,” he mumbled. He did not mean it, of course.

“Are you working on the Religion Studies assignment?” she asked.

Sehun nodded, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I can’t write a single thing down.”

Wendi frowned then, pushing the glasses up her nose. “Do you really have no ideas at all? What do you want to do? A case study? A short story? An experiment?”

“I don’t know.”

“You suck at writing. So, probably not a short story.”

“Thank you. As if my confidence weren’t already down in a ditch.”

Smiling, Wendi gave his arm a light punch. “Cheer up. That’s the one of main purposes of this course. You get to hone your writing skills.”

“Yeah,” let out Sehun. If only he paid more attention during the lectures, he might have gotten some inspirations by now.

“Have you booked a meeting with Ford yet?” she asked. “Have you even thought about it?”

Oh, Sehun had not stopped thinking about it since Aaden had mentioned it four days ago. “I should at least have _something_ if I were to talk to him.”

“Well, I booked a meeting with him. The soonest he can do is Friday next week,” she said. “He must have booked up pretty fast, I think. You definitely should get a meeting with him before it’s too late.”

Sehun scratched his head. “Okay, okay,” he said. “I’ll book a meeting with him after I figure out what I want to do.”

Yes, he wanted to get some alone time with Aaden. But he also needed some guidance from him for the assignment. It was a win-win situation, but it did not make Sehun feel any less giddy.

It was a pretty big campus, so it was almost impossible to bump into Aaden there outside the lectures. But this morning, he had seen Aaden pull up into the parking lot in his sleek black SUV. He did not notice Sehun near the bike stands, of course.

To come to think of it, Sehun did not even think that Aaden knew he existed.

“What are you doing this weekend?” asked Wendi. “Do you want to meet up and study?”

Sehun shook his head. “I promised my mom I’d be home this weekend for the big Sunday dinner. I think my sister is bringing her boyfriend over for the first time.”

“Oh. Okay.”

While he lived in a studio apartment off campus, Wendi lived in a students’ dorm. So, she loved spending the weekends at Sehun’s place where she could get some quiet from her dormmates and plenty of pampering from Sehun.

Although most people thought them to be a couple, they were more like siblings at this point. Wendi might have had a crush on Sehun in the beginning, which was two years ago, but she quickly got over it when he started going out with someone else in the first year. She also figured out (told you she was very perceptive) that Sehun swung both ways, with a stronger inclination towards men perhaps, all on her own. She had been very supportive, however. She even dragged Sehun to a pride parade in the city last year to show him just how okay she was with his identity without actually acknowledging it with words. Somewhere along the way, they had become best friends, and Sehun knew that he would want to be in her life for the rest of his life.

But he could not bring himself to even tell _her_ about his crush on Aaden Ford. It was the most embarrassing and stupidest thing he had ever done. Falling for a straight, pious _professor_. He had a hunch that she knew, though. She always knew, somehow.

* * *

On Saturday morning, Sehun woke up earlier than he normally would after a very disturbing dream he had of a certain professor. He dreamed regularly of that man. And almost every time, he woke up with a mess in his boxers.

He thought of jumping straight into the shower but then decided to go on a run instead to release all the pent-up frustration in his body. No doubt he’d be thinking endlessly of those green eyes all day.

After tightening the laces of his running shoes, he slipped out the door. The weather was great today. The sun was out and about, and the springtime air smelled fresh and crisp.

Sehun was not exactly a daily jogger, but the weather was finally warming up that he actually enjoyed it. He ran several blocks down to the next neighbourhood. He ran until his lungs began to hurt.

As he crossed the road, he slowed down and eventually came to a stop when he noticed a familiar figure on the sidewalk up ahead. At first, he could not believe his eyes. But then he realized that he could recognize that frame anywhere in this world and pick it out in any crowd.

A lump instantly formed in his throat, and his heart began to punch his chest from the inside. Perhaps he had started hallucinating as well now.

It could not possibly be Aaden on the sidewalk, clad in a pair of grey sweatpants and Henley shirt, scrolling through his phone in one hand while holding the dog leash in the other.

He was not wearing any gel in his hair. It was messy and... fluffy.

Holy fuck.

Sehun’s knees were about to buckle, but he forced them to stay put in case he needed to turn around and run the hell out of there.

But he did not move.

What a sight to behold indeed...

In that moment, Sehun felt a little proud. No one else in his Religious Studies class had probably seen Aaden out of his element like this.

He still looked so fucking handsome, but it was a different kind of handsome now. He looked more... approachable.

And Sehun was approaching him. His feet were moving before he knew what he was doing.

He wondered if Aaden had just woken up because his eyes were still slightly puffy, and he had not bothered with his hair at all. It was all over the place, and Sehun was _weak_ for it.

Aaden’s dog noticed him first and leaped over to him at once to sniff him before Aaden tugged at the leash.

“Professor Ford?” he nearly squealed when he spoke.

Aaden looked up from his phone and blinked at Sehun in a daze for a second. Then he blinked once more. “Oh,” he let out with a big, surprised smile. “It’s Sehun, isn’t it?”

It was Sehun’s turn to be surprised again. His jaw fell slack, and he stared blankly at the other man for a while. Then clearing his throat, he shakily said, “Y-Yes. Sehun. I’m Sehun. I mean, you’re right.” He scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d know who I am.”

Aaden chuckled softly. “I make a note to learn at least all of my students’ names,” he said. “I know that students think teachers can’t possibly remember them all, but we do.”

Well then, that meant Sehun was not special.

“I didn’t know you lived in this neighbourhood,” said Aaden.

“I don’t,” replied Sehun, much more calmly. “I live in Maple.”

“Oh. Then that’s quite a run.”

This was awkward. Aaden was smiling, and Sehun’s heart was racing. He was sweaty, he probably smelled, and deciding to come over and talk to Aaden was a bad idea.

“This is my dog, Odis,” Aaden said, rubbing the head of his dog, who looked like he was waiting to be introduced.

Sehun grinned then. “He is beautiful,” he said. It was a huge Bernese Mountain Dog. He had been right about Aaden owning a pet, though. “Lovely to meet you, Odis.”

The dog huffed and decided to give him a sniff again. Sehun lowered himself to a crouch to pet him.

He was petting Aaden Ford’s dog. He was touching the same fur Aaden had touched. This was a total victory in Sehun’s book.

And then something even better happened.

“If you’re done with your jog,” said Aaden. “would you like to head to the café? We have good dog-friendly one in my neighbourhood. And I really need some coffee to wake up.”

Sehun rose back to his full height, eyes wide and mouth, too. Swallowing hard, he eventually nodded his head shakily. “Yeah,” he let out. “I could use... some coffee.”

Was this really happening?

“But I didn’t bring my wallet with me,” he said.

“That’s all right, Sehun,” said Aaden, beckoning Sehun to follow. “It’s on me.”

Sehun tried to calm his heartbeat as he followed Aaden and his dog, side by side. What the actual...

Was he still asleep and dreaming? This was way less unrealistic than some of his dreams.

It was as though the universe wanted to play a cruel joke on him.

Fate was a funny thing.

It was a quaint, cosy little neighbourhood café that smelled like roasted coffee beans and freshly baked muffins.

“Hi, Aaden!” the barista greeted the man with a beaming smile. “The usual to go?”

“Morning, Adella,” said Aaden. “The usual, but to stay. And something for my friend here.”

“Friend?” Adella echoed Sehun’s exact thoughts. She was a woman in her forties, perhaps. And she a friendly face. “Since when do _you_ have friends?”

That sounded harsh. Certainly Aaden had plenty of friends, right?

“ _You_ are my friend, Adella,” said Aaden.

“In small doses,” she replied. “So, one Cafe con Leche. And what can I get you, sweetie?”

“Uh...” Sehun gave the menu board a once-over before saying, “Just a macchiato, please.”

“And a blueberry muffin?” Aaden asked him with a smile that quickened Sehun’s breath. “Trust me. Adella has the best blueberry muffins. And you’ve earned one after that run.”

Before Sehun could refuse (probably because he simply took too long to even process what Aaden was saying), Aaden gave an order for two blueberry muffins and a cup of frothy lactose-free milk for Odis.

They then took their seat at a table in the corner. Aaden did not have enough room to stretch out his long legs, however. Odis eagerly licked up the milk from the cup before curling up tiredly at Aaden’s feet under the table.

“So, Sehun,” said Aaden. “Do you live alone? I know there aren’t any dormitories in Maple.”

“Yes,” answered Sehun, wrapping his hands around the glass to keep them from trembling. He was too afraid that Aaden would notice how nervous he was. The man could practically hear Sehun’s heartbeat. “But my parents don’t live too far from here. So, I visit them often.”

“That’s great,” said Aaden, picking up his cup and taking a sip. Sehun could not help but stare at the foam that was caught in Aaden’s stubble, which he quickly licked up. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

This was his chance. He should ask Aaden more about himself.

But he sat there, like a cat had gotten his tongue.

This day was taking a much unexpected turn, and Sehun might just never recover from it.

“What’s your major, by the way?” inquired Aaden.

“Political Science,” said Sehun.

“Ah, I see.”

Without the security of the lecture hall and forty other people around him, it felt too risky and obvious to watch Aaden. But hell, Sehun wanted to. So badly. Especially now that Aaden was wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt, for god’s sake! He still had the thin gold chain around his neck. Other than that, it was like looking at a new him.

“How is your assignment coming along?” Aaden asked all of a sudden.

Sehun tore his gaze from the prominent protrusion in Aaden’s throat that bobbed so obscenely every time he spoke or swallowed his coffee. His Adam’s apple was so thick, so pornographic. Sehun wanted to put his mouth on it and suck it. Fuck, he was sick.

“Wh-What?” he muttered.

Aaden smiled gently. This was a trap, Sehun realized. Aaden had invited him for a quick morning coffee so that he could corner him and query him about the assignment. “I asked, how are you progressing in the assignment.”

“Oh.” Sehun glanced out the café window. If he had known this was why Aaden had so spontaneously asked him to join him for a coffee, he would have run the other way. “It’s coming along fine.”

He did not meet Aaden’s eyes when he said that. He was too afraid that the man would be able to see right through his bullshit.

Aaden saw it, anyways. “I’m very curious,” he said. “You must be doing really well. You are the only student in the class who did not book for a meeting with me yet.”

Sehun looked at Aaden then, mortified. “I am?”

Aaden nodded, smirking. “What are you writing about?”

Sehun licked his lips, staring into his drink for a length. “I don’t have anything yet,” he admitted a moment later. Aaden did not look surprised.

He simply drew in a sharp, deep breath and sat up straighter in the chair. “I’m assuming you were planning on sending me an email soon?”

Sehun shrugged. “I wanted to have _something_ before talking to you about it.”

“You don’t have to,” said Aaden. “I’ll be more than happy to work with you on it if you are completely lost.”

Sehun’s heart skipped a beat. He kept his eyes low. “I honestly don’t know what I want to write about.”

Aaden crossed his arms over his chest with a faint smile on his lips. He spent a few excruciating minutes to study Sehun. For an irrational moment, Sehun was worried that those hazel-green eyes would be able to see just how stupidly obsessed he was with this man. He suddenly felt like he was sitting there, buck naked. It was embarrassing, and his face was burning.

He was so relieved when Aaden finally looked away and broke the silence.

“Let me guess,” Aaden said eventually. “You only took the course because you figured it would be easy.”

Sehun’s face grew redder. “Am I that obvious?”

Aaden scoffed. “I get it. It’s not the most interesting subject for most people,” he said with a shrug. “But I hope you at least find it a little useful and informative.”

“Of course,” Sehun said quickly, not wanting to offend the man any more than he already had. “I learn a lot of stuff I’ve never heard of before. Some parts of it are actually interesting.”

“Really?” Aaden arched an eyebrow. “Could you name a few?”

Sehun gnawed at his lower lip. “Um... Last week, you talked about the Tibetan nunneries. And also the reincarnation in Buddhism and Hinduism.”

Aaden’s smile widened. “Then there you go,” he said. “You have a starting point to your paper.”

Sehun blinked. “You think that’s what I should write my assignment about?”

“If you find them interesting,” he said. “I can help you find sources for them. Send you some research papers on them.”

Licking his lips, Sehun rubbed the nape of his neck. “That would be great. Thanks.”

Aaden gave him some time to ruminate this over. Then he said, “Next step is to figure out the methodology. I tell my students that they should do a critical reading and analysis of religious texts, especially if their focus is on Christianity. But you can also do historical analyses, comparative essays, case studies, ethnographic writing, journal entries, novel, short stories, a full-blown research experiment. You are free to do this assignment in whichever way that you like.”

Sehun nodded, for once paying attention close attention to what Aaden was saying. More than anything, he could not believe that Aaden was actually so dedicated that he genuinely wanted to help his students pass this class.

“Tell you what,” he said at length. “Why don’t you write down some ideas, just very rough ideas. Both for the topic and the prospective methodology. And we can set up another meeting like this and we can go through them.”

This part, Sehun was very excited about. “Really?”

“Of course,” said Aaden. “Just look up my schedule and send me an email with a time that best suits you, too.”

“But I thought you’d be all booked up by now.”

“I am,” he said, and Sehun frowned a little. “But I don’t mind meeting up after office hours, if that’s okay with you.”

Sehun smiled then.

“What is it?” asked Aaden, noticing the unusual smile.

“Nothing,” muttered Sehun. “It’s just that... you’re a really good teacher and a kind man.”

Aaden’s expression changed at once. The humour slipped away from his face, and it almost looked like he was blushing. He cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee, averting his gaze from Sehun.

“So, why _did_ you choose this course?” he asked.

“Oh. My friend talked me into it, and I couldn’t really find a better alternative.” And what a lucky misfortune indeed.

Aaden dropped his head, as though he were just cut. “I rarely meet students who are genuinely interested in the subject. I think there’s so much to learn from it. What to take and what to eliminate. The histories of all the different cultures in the world. The myriad ways of living that many of us can’t even fathom. There are both science and unexplainable phenomena behind these beliefs.”

Sehun could listen to the man talk like this forever. “I didn’t mean to say I am not interested,” he said gently this time. “And while I can’t speak for your other students, I just didn’t grow up in a household where religions were a big thing. All my parents cared about was if me and my brother got to school on time, taking us to soccer practices in the weekend, making sure we get grounded when we do something wrong, getting us the best birthday presents. As long as we’re healthy and happy, nothing else mattered. But there is a whole other universe out there, with all kinds of unfathomable walks of life, like you said. While I don’t really identify with them, I respect them, and I want to learn about them.”

For the first time, Aaden was looking at him differently. There was more depth in his gaze now. His breathing was slightly fast.

“Well,” he said, standing up. “I have somewhere to be. I’m looking forward to your ideas, Sehun. And it was... good seeing you.”

“Yeah,” breathed out Sehun as he watched Odis get up and hurry after Aaden. As soon as he was alone again, Sehun dropped his head on the table and groaned quietly.

He was acting like a little schoolgirl! What was up with all the butterflies in his stomach?! Why was his heart fluttering like he was the heroine in a Jane Austen novel?! This was absolute madness.

He had met Aaden outside of college, and he had even petted Aaden’s dog. He had had coffee with the man, and they had agreed to meet up again!

Sehun was either incredibly lucky or highly delusional. Perhaps a bit of both.

* * *

“Wow,” Wendi rasped when she stepped into Sehun’s personal space to peer at the document he had opened on his computer.

“Do you mind?”

“I can’t believe you actually have something written!”

Sehun smiled at what he had written so far. “Yeah. As soon as I started, the juices just kept flowing.”

Wendi grimaced and sat back down in her chair. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you have some pretty great ideas down.”

It had been almost a week since Sehun had had that impromptu meeting with Aaden. Since then, he had come up with a ton of ideas. And he had even begun to elaborate on some of them. He had also done some research after Aaden had emailed him a couple of studies on Tibetan nunneries and reincarnations, as well as some cult-related research papers, which he thought Sehun might find interesting.

“I have my meeting with Ford tomorrow,” said Wendi with a sly smirk, which instantly made Sehun uneasy. He was being ridiculous, of course. It was not as though he was the sole proprietor of all Aaden-related fantasies. He knew Wendi found the professor attractive, though her attraction was probably not as fatal as Sehun’s.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. We agreed to meet at his place.”

“What?!”

He must have shouted because all heads in the library turned to him. The librarian rose from her desk to scowl in his direction. He made an apologetic face and ducked back down.

“What?!” he hissed in a whisper this time.

Wendi’s face was crinkled up in a distasteful expression. “He won’t be on campus tomorrow. So, he asked me to come by his place. He frequently has students over.”

“He does?” How did Sehun not know this piece of information until now? He was not sure if it were the sudden burning jealousy that made him pettily snatch his charging cable (the one Wendi had just borrowed) from Wendi’s laptop and stick it back into his own.

“Why do you have your panties in a bunch?” she asked, noticing Sehun’s abrupt change in behaviour. “Do you want to hang out tomorrow or something?”

“No,” murmured Sehun, lowering his head. He sighed and said, “I hope things go well with your assignment tomorrow.”

Wendi stared at him for a moment before she let it go, too. “It’s strange, don’t you think?”

“What is?”

“He has students over all the time,” she said. “Doesn’t his family find it bothersome?”

“Maybe he doesn’t live with his family.”

Wendi scoffed and then stopped for a moment, as though to chew on that thought. “To come to think of it,” she said. “he doesn’t wear a wedding ring.”

Sehun shrugged. He had not told her about his fated meeting with Aaden the other day.

Wendi gasped then. “Do you think he’s still unmarried?! Maybe he’s divorced. Does he have kids?”

“How would I know, Wendi?” breathed Sehun tiredly. All he knew was that Aaden had a dog.

“He’s too pious to have a girlfriend and not be married,” she said. “Maybe he is gay. You know, this type of guys always have something to hide. I once heard a story about a sexy priest who sucked demons out of men through oral–”

Sehun nearly choked on his own spit. He hurriedly clapped a hand over her mouth and frantically looked around to make sure that no one had heard her. “Are you out of your mind?!” he snapped at her quietly. “You can’t make such assumptions about him! What if people heard and got ideas?”

“Oops,” let out Wendi, glancing around them. “I don’t think anyone heard. And you’re right. I should not start a fire.”

Sehun frowned at her. “He’s a good guy, Wendi. I don’t think he’s out there, sucking demons out of...” he trailed off, as his mind painted a hilariously obscene image. He quickly shook it away.

“I’m just kidding,” said Wendi. “He’s probably just a loner. It’s what happens when you dedicate your life to preaching about all the different ways God can fuck you over if you don’t play by the rules.”

“Can we stop speculating about him?” groaned Sehun. “We have work to get done. And besides, I thought you _liked_ learning about this stuff.”

“Meh. You’re always more curious about things that don’t make sense to you. But I’ll keep you updated on how things go tomorrow with Ford.”

Sehun exhaled heavily. “Yes, please do so.”

* * *

As soon as he reached home that day, he sat down and opened up his computer. Now, he needed to formulate this email right. He should not come off as desperate, but he had to make sure that he got to meet Aaden outside working hours _and_ at his home.

_Dear Aaden,_

No, no. That sounded cheesy and creepy.

_Hi Professor Ford,_

_I am ready to go through the ideas for my assignment with you. I have my part-time job after school on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. But I am pretty much free after school on Wednesdays and Fridays. I also have the weekends off. Whenever that suits you best._

_Best,_

_Sehun._

As soon as he hit ‘send’ he wanted to hit himself. What was that email?! All that unnecessary details. He totally looked desperate. And childish.

He wanted to eat his fist. This was so embarrassing.

And then he received a reply.

_Dear Sehun,_

_Thank you for your email. I am glad that you have progressed! If it is okay with you, we can hold an hour long meeting this Saturday afternoon at 15:00? How does that sound?_

_Best regards,_

_Aaden Ford PhD, Associate Professor_

Sehun held his breath for a moment.

_Hi again,_

_Sure. Saturday at 15:00 works for me. Where?_

Aaden replied faster this time.

_Perfect. How about my place?_

Sehun could not stop grinning now. He was sure he’d be chewing on his stomach acid out of nervousness as the date edged closer. But for now, he was on cloud nine.

_Yes, I can do that._

Along with his house address, Aaden replied with:

_Sounds good. See you then._

Now, Sehun needed to find a way to refrain himself from stalking Aaden’s house on _Google Maps_ or circling it in person in the dead of the night before Saturday.

* * *

Wendi came over the next day after her meeting with Aaden. She gave Sehun’s cheek a quick kiss before she flung her backpack in the corner and lounged on the couch tiredly.

“How did it go?” asked Sehun.

“What? Oh, the meeting,” she said, scratching her head and adjusting her glasses. “I think it went fine. He didn’t seem too pleased with what I’ve written so far, I think.”

Sehun blinked. “Really?” He stood behind the kitchen counter and started to worry. Wendi had something solid, and if even that wasn’t enough for Aaden, there was no way he was going to be happy with Sehun’s 3-page idea dump.

“He didn’t necessarily criticize it much,” she said. “But he gave me a lot of advice on what I could do hereon and yadda-yadda. I’ll write some of the important points for you, too.”

She grabbed Sehun’s laptop from the coffee table and typed in the password. She told Sehun some more about her assignment as she opened up a blank document before he nervously asked her how it was to be in Aaden’s home.

“Don’t get me started on that,” she said with a toothy grin. “He has a gorgeous nook! So many books. And everything smelled great. _He_ smelled great. And get this! He has a dog! His name is Odis.”

Sehun felt strangely jealous and possessive.

“And I am one hundred percent sure that he doesn’t live with anyone else,” she said.

This piece of information made him happy. “You think?”

“Yeah. It’s a little sad, actually. I have no idea why he doesn’t have a family.”

“Some men like to start family late.”

“But hot, religious, intelligent men like him?”

Sehun shrugged. “Maybe he has other priorities.”

“Hmm. Maybe. I love how you always come to his defence, but you badmouth Professor Gupta all the time.”

Sehun bit his lip. “I don’t always come to his defence.”

Wendi smirked at him. “Oh, please, Sehun,” she snorted. “You’re as transparent as glass. I know you’re totally in love with Ford.”

Sehun wanted to hurl something at her head. “You’re are completely insane.” He turned her back to her, pretending to be grabbing a mug from the shelves.

“You-u love him!” she said chantlike, typing away on his computer. “Sehun is in love with Professor Aaron Ford.”

“I... booked a meeting with him for Saturday,” he said, trying to change the topic, although he should have said something to deny Wendi’s preposterous claims.

He was not expecting her to look disappointed. She was the one who was dogging him relentlessly to talk to Aaden. “So, we can’t hang out this weekend either?” she asked.

“Oh. I’m free Sunday,” he told her quickly.

She smiled. She shot up from the couch and wended her way over the cabinets to grab a snack. “I’m not, though. I have a dorm cleaning thing all day.”

Sehun wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “We hang out almost every day of the week, anyway. It’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, but I miss kicking your butt in some _Mario Kart_.”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “You’ve only beaten me like six times, Wen. And we can play some today.”

* * *

When the day finally came, Sehun stood before the mirror and cursed himself for dolling himself up like he was getting ready for a date. He probably should not have spritzed on his expensive, potent cologne. It was basic animal instinct. In order to seduce a mate, he needed to give off an attractive scent.

This is _ridiculous!_

And he should also change into a more _everyday_ outfit. So, he traded the dress shirt he was wearing for a yellow hoodie and pulled on a pair of white sneakers.

He had lost the great battle last night and given into temptation to look up Aaden’s house address on the internet. All that he found out was that Aaden lived in a neighbourhood for rich people.

He gave himself one final once-over in the mirror before he grabbed his backpack and headed out of his apartment to unlock his bike from the racks.

He took a few deep breaths, idly ringing his bike’s bell. Maybe it was not too late to back out of this whole deal. He could send Aaden an email saying he caught a cold all of a sudden and was planning on dying.

He shook his head and jumped on his bike. It would not be so bad. He had an advantage – Aaden was completely unaware of Sehun’s crush on him. So, it was not going to be all that awkward unless Sehun made it awkward.

He checked his wristwatch for the time. 14:46.

Aaden’s house already looked fantastic on the outside. It was bigger and fancier than Sehun had expected. His SUV was parked in the driveway. After standing his bike in a corner of the front lawn, he walked up to the door and rang the bell.

His throat was starting to close. His stomach was a mess. The muscles in his body were clenching uncomfortably.

He heard Odis’ bark on the other side of the door before he heard Aaden’s voice ordering him to stay put.

Then the door clicked open.

“Hi, Sehun,” Aaden greeted with a big smile.

He smelled and looked so fresh that Sehun simply wanted to lunge through the doorway and take a massive bite of him.

He must have just taken a shower. His neatly combed hair was still slightly damp, and he smelled like aftershave. He must have just trimmed his beard. He was wearing another Henley shit – a beige one this time – with a pair of faded blue jeans. No shoes. Hell, he was not wearing any shoes.

“Come on in,” he left the door open as he walked back in.

Swallowing the rock in his throat, Sehun stepped in and diffidently shut the door behind him. “Should I, um, take off my shoes?”

Aaden turned around and smiled at him. “I’d appreciate it if you do, but you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”

Why was he always so nice and accommodating? Was this guy even real?!

Sehun removed his shoes and set them aside. There was a staircase right in front of him. The living room was to his left and the dining room was to his right. The furnishings were not half as fancy as the exterior. Aaden’s style was simple, neat, and classy. Not a single clutter in sight. Everything was practical. One could tell that this was a bachelor’s pad.

And the massive, countless shelves of books in the living room, the hallway and dining room truly stunned Sehun. He had no idea a human being could have read so many books in their lifetime.

“Let’s go in here,” Aaden said, ushering Sehun into the dining room. He had a six-seater dining table.

Sehun settled his backpack in one chair before taking a seat in another.

“What would you like to have? Coffee? Tea?”

“Uh... Coffee’s fine.”

Aaden disappeared through the kitchen doorway, and Sehun heard the whirring of a coffee machine.

“Sorry,” Aaden said when he returned with two mugs of coffee, which smelled absolutely amazing. He settled one mug in front of Sehun before sitting down in a nearby chair with another in his hand. “I just came back from the gym. Had to take a shower. I’ll go grab my computer now and we can start.”

Sehun sat there like a duck! He did not know what to say or what to do. He tried reaching for the coffee mug when Aaden left the room again to get his laptop.

“I had a meeting with your friend just the other day,” said Aaden, plumping back down in his chair. “Wendi.”

It was not a surprise that Aaden noticed they were friends. They always sat together in lectures and had too many whispery conversations.

“Yes,” Sehun finally said. “She said that you gave her some great advices and shared them with me, too.”

Aaden’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

Sehun welcomed the distraction. He could not spend the next hour staring at Aaden’s neck or the gold cross that was sitting comfortably between his collarbones, or haired chest that the unbuttoned T-shirt betrayed.

“She wrote them down, I think,” he said, opening up the file Wendi had saved on the desktop.

Aaden’s eyes instantly perused the open document. He blinked at some point and went as still as a statue. It took him a moment to tear his intense gaze from the laptop screen and fix it on Sehun.

“Uh,” he let out. “Yeah. Those are some... important points you can also... use.”

He looked away and sipped his coffee. There was a change in his mien, and Sehun was so confused all of a sudden. What was wrong? Was he just bad at handling compliments?

He looked at what Wendi had written on the document then to see if something on there had thrown Aaden off.

And there it was, at the bottom of the notes, written in bolded italics, fucking capitalized.

**_SEHUN IS IN LOVE WITH PROFESSOR AADEN FORD_ **

Sehun’s blood ran cold. Wanting to murder and bury himself right then and there would be a complete understatement. Wanting to murder and bury Wendi when he got the chance on the other hand was perfectly reasonable.

“I...” he let out, voice breaking, fingers cold and trembling. “This was... Wendi. She was just... This is just a prank. I... I...”

Aaden turned to him, smiling again. “It’s all right, Sehun. Shall we have a look at your assignment?”

Sehun nodded his head hastily, even though he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole. Not only was he embarrassed, he was now afraid. Aaden might be accommodating and polite, but at the end of the day, he was probably a judgmental religion fanatic. He would not take jokes like this lightly. But then again, Sehun was most likely not the first student to have developed and fostered a crush on him. So, maybe he knew how to handle this sort of situation well.

Goddamn Wendi.

Sehun opened another document, quickly closing the other one. “These are... my ideas.”

Aaden took a long look at them, sliding his fingers along the trackpad. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. He was sitting so close that Sehun could smell the coffee on his breath.

After a while, the man leaned back on his chair and smiled. “If I’m being honest, I think you have some pretty interesting ideas there, Sehun.”

“Really?” Something about the way Aaden’s praising warmed Sehun’s blood again.

“Yes. Some unique research topics as well. Some might be a little unfeasible to complete in the time that you have. But I love that you are thinking out of the box a little here.”

Sehun could not help a smile then.

“I do have one doubt, though,” said Aaden. “Most of your topics of interest here have something to do with... scientific reasonings behind religious beliefs. And this might be a bit of a personal question, but do you really not believe that there are things in this world beyond science?”

Sehun took a moment to think the question through. “Are we talking about things like superstitions? Like my dad wears a different shoe on each foot during Superbowl because he thinks it favours his favourite team. My mom grounds me for a whole week every time she dreams of something bad happening to me. I generally don’t believe in things that do not have a reasonable explanation. And most of the time, it’s science.”

Aaden stared at him for a painful length. “But you believe all these religious beliefs have a reasonable, scientific explanation.”

Sehun nodded. “I think everything does.”

“Tell me,” said Aaden, shoulders relaxed, fingertips pressed together. He almost looked like a shrink in this position. “How did Earth come into being?”

“By accretion from the solar nebula,” Sehun answered confidently.

Aaden nodded. “Why do the stars twinkle?”

“Um... It has something to do with the way the light from the stars bends through the different layers of our atmosphere.”

The man nodded again. “Reasonable explanations. Do you think religions deny these facts?”

Sehun kept mum for a moment.

Aaden sighed. “We don’t, Sehun. In fact, Hinduism’s astronomy has its earliest roots in the period of Indus Valley Civilization. It was a discipline of _Vedanga_ , dating 1500 BCE, possibly older. Their oldest known text, the _Vedanga Jyotisha_ , dates back to1200 BCE. They knew how to study the stars, they understood all twelve zodiac signs, they came up with calendars that are referred to even until now, all from simple observations. What about the Greek astronomy in the pre-Hellenistic phase? I would argue that science is seeped into all religions and cultures. These superstitions that you speak of are more of a _recent_ phenomenon. Centuries and centuries back, these were not superstitions. They were a way of life.”

Sehun drew in a sharp breath. “Are you diagnosing me?”

Aaden’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry?”

“That’s what it sounds like,” he said. “Just because I don’t believe in all this hoopla, it doesn’t mean I am stupid.”

“I never said that,” said Aaden, frowning.

Sehun crossed his arms over his chest, wondering where Odis was. He looked to Aaden again and found the man still frowning.

“Look,” Aaden exhaled at length. “I did not mean to imply that your way of thinking is wrong or... stupid. I’m just telling you, as an expert in this field, that science is this omnipresent thing that is grounded in such beliefs. It is simply there. There is always a reasonable explanation for everything. I am _agreeing_ with you. But I also think you should not limit yourself to just one scope. That is the whole purpose of this course. To teach you to view at the world with a third eye. I want you and all my other students to go about this assignment without employing a strictly religious or scientific perspective. Keep an open mind.”

Sehun bowed his head. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I know that non-believers like me can be exasperating for you.”

Aaden smiled again. “Quite the contrary,” he said. “I always welcome some healthy opposing points of view. They make for some interesting conversations.”

They held each other’s gaze for a moment before Aaden looked away, clearing his throat.

“Now, let’s have a look at your choice of methodology.”

* * *

They ended up spending more than an hour on it. At some point, Aaden brought some microwaved Dutch pancakes and strawberry jam to the table. Sehun could not help but wonder if the man was always so hospitable towards all of his visiting students.

“Do you live on your own?” Sehun blurted out when they were taking a break.

Aaden took a bite of a pancake ball and nodded. “With my dog. You already met him.”

Aaden was answering all of his questions. This was Sehun’s chance to probe for more. “And... you’re not married?”

That question had Aaden looking at him dubiously. Sehun suddenly remembered Wendi’s stupid document, and how ill-timed that question was.

But Aaden responded, anyway. “No. Never had the time for that.” So that was what Aaden sounded like when he was lying. “I used to travel the world a lot before I took up this job.”

Sehun watched Aaden sink his perfect teeth into another pancake. He sighed heavily.

They spent one more hour outlining Sehun’s assignment. Aaden leaned in close to look at Sehun’s computer screen. His hair looked too tempting. Sehun clenched his hands and waited impatiently for the man to finish up.

“I think you’ve got something good here, Sehun,” Aaden said, lifting his head to meet Sehun’s eyes. He was smiling as usual, and his face was a tad bit too close to Sehun’s.

Holding his breath, Sehun gulped hard and looked down at the gold chain around Aaden’s neck again. Then he slowly raised his gaze to the bobbing Adam’s apple and then finally Aaden’s smiling lips.

Sehun really had to be in love (or completely mad) because with an impulsive move, he leaned forward and kissed Aaden. On. The. Lips.

He _felt_ the smile falter from Aaden’s lips against his own.

Fuck. What was he doing?!

He pulled back, eyes bulged out in horror, face burning red. Aaden was staring back at him with a similar expression.

“Fuck,” Sehun let out, hands shaking. He quickly jolted up from the chair and slammed his laptop shut before hurriedly stuffing it into his backpack. “I’m so sorry,” he rasped. “I’m so...”

_Stupid!_

“Sehun,” Aaden sighed, standing up.

“I have to go,” Sehun blurted out breathlessly.

“Sehun, wait–”

Like hell he’d wait.

He scurried out of the dining room and cursed under his breath again when he realized he did not have his shoes on. He grabbed them on his way out and threw them into his backpack. He’d pedal home in socks, no big deal.

He needed to leave right now so that he could go home, burst into tears, have a meltdown, drop out of college, and die.

* * *

There was just too much to think about. At the same time, Sehun was too numb to think about anything.

When he showed up to Religious Studies on Monday, he thought that he was either very brave or barking mad (probably the latter). He should have dropped Aaden’s class. Perhaps Aaden would do it for him. And maybe even report Sehun’s inappropriate behaviour to the board to have him kicked out of the college.

He found Wendi in her usual spot and joined her.

“Whoa,” she rasped. “You look like you haven’t slept... or showered in days.”

She was not wrong. Sehun sat down and looked anxiously at the podium. Aaden was not here yet.

“Can we sit in the back today?” he asked Wendi.

“No, why?”

Sehun did not answer her. How could he possibly tell her that he had practically pounced their Religious Studies professor and kissed him?

He tried to hide behind his computer. Maybe Aaden would not notice his presence. He never did before.

Surely some of his students must have attempted to kiss him before right? Sehun could not be the only idiot who wanted to get railed by that man.

“Good morning, everyone.” The voice felt like a gong in Sehun’s head.

He did not duck behind his computer, however. He looked at Aaden, whose eyes instantly searched for Sehun in the front row.

He looked away as soon as Sehun caught them, though.

He was a little fidgety today as he set up the projector at the podium, taking longer than usual. He was wearing a navy-blue shirt with blue jeans.

“Let’s talk about how to write a religious paper without demonstrating or refuting provocative religious concepts today,” he said, slipping a hand into one of the front pockets of his jeans. His eyes darted to Sehun again and he fumbled for a moment. “Uh... We’ll begin with...”

Sehun blinked, holding the man’s gaze for a moment too long.

Aaden rubbed his bearded jaw and cleared his throat. He started again, and he did not look at Sehun until the end of the class.

“Sehun,” he called as soon as he had dismissed everyone else. “Can you hang back for a second? I’d like to talk to you.”

Wendi looked back and forth between Sehun and Aaden. “Are you in trouble?” she asked as she slipped past him.

Big time. “I don’t know,” muttered Sehun, as stoically as he could. But his insides were turning topsy-turvy.

“Good luck. I’ll wait for you in the library.”

Sehun nodded. The lecture hall was empty, except for him and Aaden. He climbed over the table (because it was a shortcut to his doom) and approached Aaden with his heart in his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaden looked up from the podium as Sehun neared him. He only held Sehun’s gaze momentarily before he averted his attention back to unhooking the projector cables from his computer.

“How is assignment coming along?” he asked, as though to make small talk.

Sehun was not sure if he were more nervous of what might come after the small talk or more annoyed of Aaden’s insisting on having the small talk instead of directly confronting him for what he had done the other day.

“Fine,” he answered curtly. He was exhausted at this point. He wanted to just get this over with already. If Aaden were about to give him a warning or a threat to drop him, then he really did not need to drag this out by being nice.

“Have you decided on a topic?”

Sehun shrugged in response, but Aaden was not exactly looking up at him to catch that. He shut his computer and picked it up along with one of the two hefty books he had brought to class with him.

He finally looked at Sehun again and frowned faintly. Then sighing, he handed the book over to Sehun before grabbing the other one. “Walk with me to my office, will you?”

Sehun blinked, taking the books. Aaden certainly did not need his help carrying a laptop and two books.

As they wended their way out of the lecture hall, Aaden held the door open for Sehun, whose heart skipped a beat. He was being stupid. His heart was being stupid. Even the simplest acts of kindness from the man he so obsessively liked were making him giddy.

“The weather seems nice today,” observed Aaden as they walked out of the building to the next once, where his office was located.

Sehun scowled to himself, clutching Aaden’s books to his chest. Why was Aaden doing this? Was he softening the impending blow? Perhaps he wanted Sehun to acknowledge his mistake first.

Dropping out or transferring to another college seemed like an easier option, to be honest.

When they finally reached Aaden’s office, which was as neat as his house, crammed with bookshelves and a glass desk holding a computer screen and piles of neatly stacked papers and folders.

Aaden shut the door behind him and walked over to the desk. “You can just put them there,” he said, nodding towards the bookshelves.

Sehun tried to insert the books in the gaps on the shelves before he turned to Aaden. “Can I leave or are you going to reprimand me?”

Aaden craned his head up from where he was standing, hand gripping the mouse. He looked tiredly at Sehun then. “I am... not going to reprimand you, Sehun,” he sighed. “Please, sit down.”

Sehun clenched his teeth. He was not entirely sure why he was so angry and dismayed. It might have been the sleep deprivation or the lack of sustenance the last couple of days. Or it might be the fact that Aaden was being exasperatingly nice about something he should be furious about. Maybe he did not take any of it seriously. Aaden’s composure upset Sehun more.

Again, he was being stupid beyond reason.

But not being taken seriously seemed worse to him than getting upbraided for something that he did out of sheer impulse.

He took a seat in the chair on the other side of the desk. Aaden sat down, too. He then licked his lips, swallowed hard, glanced out the blinded window of his office before facing Sehun again with a heavy breath.

“You know what I want to talk to you about,” he said in a quiet voice, as though he were afraid that the walls were listening.

Sehun kept his clammy hands flat on his lap. He nodded twice in a tepid movement.

“What you did,” Aaden began, now in a steady yet wary tone. “was not... appropriate.”

He waited to see if Sehun would respond. When he didn’t, Aaden continued.

“I know that you regret it,” he said. “Which is–”

“I don’t,” Sehun replied. Although the muscles in his face felt tense and tight, he tried to appear complacent.

Aaden gawked at him for a length in something like disbelief. Sehun knew he had pushed the man’s buttons. He was definitely going to get expelled now. But maybe it would be worth it if he would get to see Aaden’s self-command and collectedness broken for once.

“I beg your pardon?” the man said once his tongue was loose again. “What do you mean... you don’t?”

Shrugging, Sehun said, “I don’t regret it. I wanted to kiss you, so I did.” He did not know how much of it was exactly true. Of course, it would have been ideal to not to have made things _this_ awkward with the man, but he did very much want to kiss him. any way he looked at it, it was a win-and-lose situation.

Aaden blinked. His jaw became noticeably tight. He removed his hands from the desk and clenched them under it. Then hoarsely, he said, “Do you think that that was appropriate?”

Sehun shook his head. “No,” he said. “I had kissed you without your consent. That I’m sorry about. But I don’t regret the kiss.”

Fuck, it was a miracle that Sehun’s voice did not quiver once as he spoke. He was so annoyed that he was suddenly able to muster an overwhelming amount of courage.

Aaden, on the other hand, looked like he was being slapped repeatedly across the face. Not even his tanned, bronze skin could hide the redness that painted the shell of his ears and neck.

“Sehun,” he said at length, like it was spelling it out or maybe even begging. “What you did is... not okay. I am your professor.”

Sehun scoffed, arching an eyebrow as he casually gazed toward the window. Inside, his heart was pounding, and his stomach churned. “Curious,” he said.

“What is?” asked Aaden, almost like he was snapping.

“That that’s your biggest issue.”

He turned and met Aaden’s now horrified eyes.

He shot up from his seat then and started pacing the little space of his office. He eventually came to a stop and faced Sehun with a slightly hard expression. “If you repeat this sort of behaviour,” he said with a sterner tone. “I will have no other option but to report it to the dean.”

Sehun stared at the man quietly for a moment, which only deepened Aaden’s frown.

Maybe Wendi was right all along. Maybe some men like Aaden often had something to hide.

Maybe Sehun’s heart and feelings weren’t all that stupid or erroneous after all.

He stood up. Leaving his backpack in the chair, he crossed the room and closed the distance between him and Aaden.

“Go ahead,” he told the man, who took a step back for each one that Sehun advanced. “Report me.”

“Sehun,” Aaden groaned under his breath. He was cornered now, with no more room to retreat, his back now pressed against the wall. “Stop this now.”

Sehun looked up at him with his lower lip curled between his teeth. Aaden was a whole head taller than him, and Sehun was in no way a short guy himself.

He stared into Aaden’s glowering eyes and studied the brown specks in the pools of green. Fuck, he was so handsome. In life, one must take certain risks and go the distance. Sometimes, one had to jump in with both feet, no matter the consequences.

Aaden looked so nervous and agitated that he might have whipped the cross out of his shirt and held it against Sehun’s face to thwart him off like he was some demon.

But then his softening gaze betrayed him for a heartbeat when it dropped to look at Sehun’s lips with his own lips parting to suck in a shaky breath.

It was lust. And fuck, it was clear as day. Aaden’s eyes were suddenly so full of it, sheening and glistening with it.

Then he raised a hand to Sehun’s chest where his collarbones met the base of his neck. Sehun’s legs turned into jelly upon that touch.

“ _No_ ,” he growled, his composure finally broken down, his breathing heavy, his chest heaving.

“No?” Sehun breathed out. His face was so close to Aaden’s now, and Aaden had his head bowed, his eyes fixated on Sehun’s. “Are you sure?”

Aaden kept mum, his slightly open mouth, breathing the same air as Sehun, his fingers slowly moving up to curl around a crook of Sehun’s neck where it joined his shoulder. Even the teasing touch of his fingers felt rough and strong. It was almost as though he were entertaining the idea of wrapping his hand around Sehun’s neck, and the very thought made Sehun’s blood drum louder in his ears.

But then Aaden retrieved his hand abruptly, clenching his jaw again.

It was too late. He had given away too much now.

“You must stop,” he said through his gritted teeth, and Sehun wondered why was it that he should be the one to stop when Aaden was doing his absolute bare minimum to stop it.

“You can call for help,” said Sehun, his chest now almost pressed against Aaden’s heaving one. “if I really am that much of a menace.”

Aaden’s jaw tightened even more. “You are really testing my patience, Sehun.”

“Good,” he replied, and it changed Aaden’s expression once more – to a more aroused one. “I don’t want you to be patient with me.”

It would not take Aaden – a man twice Sehun’s size and strength – to put a foot down and deny what was happening to him. But it seemed like he was _waiting_. For Sehun to continue and to cross more boundaries. Perhaps he believed that as long as his lips said no, he was guiltless.

Sehun scoffed and pulled back then. “Hilarious.”

Aaden’s eyes narrowed. “And what exactly is hilarious?”

“This pious choirboy front you’ve been putting on for everyone this whole time when you’re actually–”

The man did not even let Sehun finish. “Get out of my office, Sehun.”

There was anger in the way he said that, but there was also urgency. And panic. Sehun huffed, smirking condescendingly as he withdrew a few more steps.

Aaden’s pants always rode a little tight at the front by the fly and around the thighs (yes, it was one of the very first observations Sehun had made of the man), but right now, they were stretched like they were on the verge of ripping by the seams.

Sehun’s jaw would have dropped if only he were able to move any part of his body for a moment.

Aaden glowered at him, hands balled into fists at his sides. Gulping the massive lump in his throat, Sehun turned around to grab his backpack from the chair.

But he stopped. This was one of those impulsive things he might come to lose his sleep over for nights later.

He marched back to Aaden and dropped to his knees.

“Say no and I’ll stop,” he let out, panting, as his fingers eagerly hooked themselves around the buckle of Aaden’s belt.

Aaden stood frozen, gawking down at Sehun, but doing absolutely nothing to say ‘no’ or to stop what was happening.

He frankly looked stunned.

Then he looked intrigued.

He leveraged himself against the wall and kept his eyes pinned on Sehun, who quickly worked the belt and the fly of Aaden’s pants.

“ _Sehun_ ,” Aaden called in a trembling breath, his hands still fisted, his nostrils flaring. It honestly sounded like an encouragement if nothing else.

For a moment, Sehun thought that he might stop it. But he didn’t. Instead, Aaden stared at him, lips parted, pupils dilated, face and neck completely red, forehead sheening with beads of sweat.

And Sehun was practically frothing at the mouth. Of course, this was not how he had imagined things going, not even in his wildest fantasies starring Aaden Ford. There was nothing romantic about getting down on his knees for the man he was crazy about in his office right after he had just been told to get out. But if this was all that he was going to get, then so be it.

Besides, he simply wanted to get a confirmation. He wanted to see just how far Aaden would go.

And as it would turn out, pretty far.

He stood still against the wall while Sehun unzipped the pants and got rid of the tucked in shirt hem out of the way before nuzzling against the waistband of his _Calvin Klein_ boxers. He looked up once more at Aaden’s piercing eyes and opened his mouth to lick along the clothed, arching shaft.

He heard Aaden inhale a sharp breath which made his entire body shiver then. Fuck, Sehun wanted him to do that more.

Curling his fingers around the boxers’ waistband, he slowly lowered them and licked his lips, wrapping a hand around the heavy, hard erection. He breathed heavily as the thickly veined pulsed against his fingers as he slid them along the velvety foreskin.

When he brought his head up again to look at Aaden, the man had his eyes closed this time, his head leaned back against the wall.

On the one hand, Sehun could not believe this was happening. On the other, he did not want this to ever stop.

He had the man of his dreams, in his hand, shaking and panting, and so unbelievably hard.

For him.

Aaden was hard for _him_.

Well, he’d be damned.

He watched a rivulet of sweat trickle down the side of Aaden’s face from his temple as he stroked the pulsating cock in his hand, all the way from the base to the head. And when his thumb brushed the cockslit, Aaden’s eyes flung open and his hand came around the back of Sehun’s head, fingers sliding between locks of Sehun’s hair.

Shit.

Sehun had done this before, of course. He was no virgin, needless to say. He’d done it with both girls and boys, but he had not exactly done _this_. By this, he meant committing himself to pleasuring someone he liked so much it hurt, in the vicinity of the faculty lounge, unprepared, uncertain, and totally in a state of shock.

But he did not hesitate.

As soon as he wrapped his lips around the shaft, the cockhead pressed against the roof of his mouth, and Aaden’s eyes rolled back while his throat made a delicious noise that made Sehun hard in his own pants.

He kept a hand stroking the length and tried to take as much as he could of Aaden into his mouth. While he had done things like this before, he did not have too much experience or expertise in this arena. He retched a little and pulled back when the cockhead slammed into the back of his throat.

Aaden’s fingers tightened around his hair and pulled him close again. Sehun could not possibly express how much he loved that.

He licked the underside of the cock, all the way to the leaking slit. Aaden moaned once more as Sehun took him back into his mouth and sank in, smearing it with his spit.

“Fuck,” hissed Aaden, and it surprised Sehun. So, the regular church boy cussed after all aside from thoroughly enjoying having his cock down another guy’s throat.

At some point, he rocked his hips forward and started thrusting into Sehun’s mouth, hands gripping Sehun’s hair.

With drool dribbling down the corners of Sehun’s now raw lips and sore jaw, he slid a hand into Aaden’s shirt, walking it along the trail of hairs that ran between his solid abdominal muscles. A soft moan broke from his own throat as his middle finger skidded along the perfectly lined cleft of Aaden’s midriff. Shit, he was not religious, but he knew all the ways he would worship Aaden’s perfectly chiselled body if he ever got the chance.

Aaden only released his hair and pulled out of his mouth when he was close. He took himself in his hand and started pumping, head thrown back, mouth begging for air, neck bathed in sweat. Sehun only rose back to his feet once Aaden had finished, and fuck, it was a glorious sight to behold indeed.

Clearly, the man was not planning on returning the favour, so Sehun might have to stop by the toilet to relieve himself before heading to the next lecture. There was no way he was ever going to be able to not arouse himself to these images of Aaden that were now etched into his brain forever.

He brought a hand to Aaden’s violently rising and falling chest. His heart thundered against Sehun’s palm. He could not help but glimpse Aaden’s cross that was peeping out of the collar of his shirt.

Aaden looked like he might fall to the floor. He kept his head rested on the wall, arms limp at his sides. When he opened his eyes again, he dazedly looked at Sehun, who was still staring at the man like a child eyeing the biggest, tastiest candy store in the world.

He wanted to go for it again and kiss Aaden with his sore, red lips. But instead, he waited to see if Aaden would kiss him because the man was now looking fixedly and drowsily at Sehun’s mouth.

And then with a sudden sobriety, he pulled away from Sehun and the wall, doing up the fly of his pants and buckling his belt again. He grabbed a few sheets from the tissue box on his desk to wipe his hand clean.

He then plumped unceremoniously in the chair behind the desk and ran a few fingers through the clumped gelled strands of his hair before planting his face in a hand.

Sehun’s foolish courage began to dissipate from his body. Up until a moment ago, he was convinced that he would let this man ruin his life. Now, he was worried that Aaden might resent him and would never want to even look his way again. That sounded worse than getting expelled for some reason.

“I...” he started to say with some reluctance. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

That was such a dumb thing to say, but he figured Aaden would be more worried about being outed and having his career derailed.

He raised his head and looked at Sehun, this time with embarrassment. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again and glanced towards the window.

Then quietly, he said, “I’m not what you think I am.”

Sehun blinked. “It’s okay,” he said. “N-No one else will know.”

Aaden turned to him with a sharp glare then. “Will know what exactly?” he spat through his teeth.

Sehun almost said, _‘That you like having your dick in another guy’s mouth.’_

But he refrained, realizing that he was pushing too many boundaries at this point. He did not want Aaden to hate him. Especially not after what had just happened.

“That you’re gay,” he said at last and watched Aaden flinch so noticeably.

He shot up from his seat and stomped over to Sehun. “You don’t know anything,” he said. He was no longer a teacher talking to his student. He was just a man who wanted to protect this secret of his from a potential threat, which Sehun wasn’t.

“I like you,” he blurted out with a frown, and it was clearly not what Aaden had expected to hear. He winced and pulled back. “I won’t do anything to hurt you, Aaden.”

And Sehun meant this. He might have done some things out of pure impulse, which could bear unwanted consequences for both of them, but he would never want to intentionally cause Aaden trouble or anguish.

Aaden’s expression softened at that. He drew in a breath and rubbed his bearded jaw. “I’d appreciate it if you... do not–”

“I won’t tell,” Sehun said again, more firmly this time. “I promise.”

He must have looked like an earnest puppy because Aaden nodded his head. “And I’m not... gay.”

Sehun winced at this. He looked at the gold chain around Aaden’s neck once more. As much as he wanted to argue against this, he knew better. “All right,” he said instead.

Turning to his desk, Aaden said, “Now, can you please leave?”

Sehun grabbed his backpack and gave Aaden one last look before he wended his way out of the room with his head hung.

* * *

Wendi would not stop nagging him for the rest of the day. She could tell that something had happened. Sehun remained spooked and in a state of trance the whole day, unable to do pretty much anything but the involuntary functions his body controlled like breathing, and also reliving the intimacy he had just shared with Aaden in his office over and over again in his head.

As they walked out of the last lecture of the day, Sehun headed for the bike stands and Wendi followed.

“Was it really about your assignment?” she asked for the nth time, clearly not having bought Sehun’s story.

“Yes,” he muttered.

“Then why do you look _this_ glum?”

Huffing heavily, he said, “Because he hates it. I have to come up with something new.”

“But your ideas were good. Better than mine even.”

He unlocked his bike and pulled it out of the racks. Wendi grabbed the handlebar to block him.

“Did he yell at you?” she asked, her eyes ballooning behind the lenses of her glasses. “He does not seem like the mean type, though.”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Don’t judge a book by its cover, Wendi.”

She gasped. “So, he was mean to you?!”

Sehun gripped his jaw. _‘Very much so,’_ he wanted to say. “I have to go. I’m late for work.”

Wendi released the handlebar and stepped aside as he swung a leg over the bike seat. “I’ll call you later!”

Sehun shrugged as he pedalled off.

* * *

Upon coming home from his part-time job, he jumped into the shower and stayed in there for nearly an hour. He felt numb all of a sudden. Aaden probably did not want to ever see him again. Not that he could help it, Sehun was in two of his lectures every week, after all.

He must have come off as so desperate and pathetic, too. It really did not take much for him to go down to his knees for a man who did not want him.

That never happened before. Sehun was very picky when it came to his dating life. He would not so easily hand out such services unless he had really thought it through.

But with Aaden, everything was just so impulsive. It was as though he was an animal, and his body knew better than his ability to rationalize anything.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he noticed a few missed calls on his phone. One from his mother, and the rest from Wendi. He decided to return his mother’s call first.

She asked him how was school. Then she berated him a little (as kindly as a mother possibly could) about him taking on a part-time job, waiting tables at a local bistro, even when he did not need to. He received plenty of allowance from his parents, and they even paid for the apartment he was currently staying at (only because they insisted on it so badly).

He told her his usual _‘love you’_ s _and ‘take care’_ s before hanging up. It had been an awfully exhausting day. Both mentally and physically.

After slipping into a pair of boxer shorts and a hoodie, he jumped onto his bed and was ready to zonk out when he realized he had to send a preliminary project idea by the end of tomorrow, which he had not worked much on.

Groaning begrudgingly, he grabbed his laptop and took a look at what he had so far. In the end, he decided to go with the topic one of the most questionable and controversial topics on his shortlist, because why not?

When he texted Wendi that this was what he was going for, she replied with several of the shocked face emoji along with:

_That’s an amazing topic! Wish I had thought of that!_

Sehun smiled to himself. It was a pretty interesting topic. A little creepy, but interesting, nonetheless.

But he would need to get Aaden’s approval before going wide with the topic. He did not doubt that Aaden would greenlight it, but it was still a part of the formal process of the assignment.

His heart started beating fast as he opened up his email. This was so awkward. How did one send a causal email for approval to the professor he had just been sucking off in the office earlier?

He licked his lips, still remembering the taste of Aaden. Fuck.

He better get this over with quickly so that he could give himself the attention he had been needing all day before going to sleep. If he could get any sleep tonight.

He kept the opening short and the message relatively succinct.

_Hi,_

_I would like your approval for my assignment._

**_Title: The Science Behind the Practice of Exorcism and Demonic Possessions._ **

**_Brief: An in-depth analysis of the scientific reasonings behind the practice of exorcism and demonic possessions using case studies._ **

_Thank you._

_Best,_

_Sehun._

He did not expect Aaden to answer the email so late in the evening, but he still had his laptop open for a while.

When he received no reply after thirty minutes, he shut the computer, grabbed a bottle of lube from the bedside drawers and turned the lights off.

The anger, the frustration, the disappointment, the fierce lust for Aaden’s touch, the lingering imprint of Aaden’s fingers pressed against the back of his head made for an exciting relief like no other.

Later, he curled up under the covers and wept.

* * *

He woke up the next morning to an email from Aaden.

_Hi Sehun,_

_Sounds like an interesting topic. Go for it. Let me know if I can be of any help._

_Best regards,_

_Aaden Ford PhD, Associate Professor_

Sehun was happy about getting a reply from Aaden. But he hoped that the formality did not mean that the man had forgotten or rather chosen to pretend like nothing had happened. Maybe he was just really good at suppressing his emotions and hiding the egregious sides of himself and pretending.

Sehun did not have a Religious Studies lecture until Thursday. So, he was not sure how he was supposed to go until then without obsessing over this. He wanted to see Aaden again. He wanted to apologize. More than anything, he needed to make sure that Aaden did not resent him or what had happened.

* * *

Showing up to Aaden’s house unannounced was taking things a tad bit too far. But Sehun would be lying if he said that the idea had never crossed his mind. In fact, it did several times of the day.

He did not want the authorities to get him a restraining order for stalking.

So, he waited with great, great patience until the next lecture.

Aaden ambled in as usual with his laptop and a book. This time, he did not look as collected. There was something in the way he carried himself into the hall that seemed nervous.

“Good morning,” he said, but without looking at his students this time. And it felt very forced. He walked to the podium and kept his gaze low the whole time. It was as though he did not want to risk looking up and getting betrayed by his eyes, which would inevitably look for Sehun in the crowd.

“We’re going to be looking at chieftaincy and kingship tussle in Igboland today,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Do you think he’s hungover?” Wendi whispered to Sehun. She must have noticed Aaden’s discomposure, too.

Sehun had to wait for two more hours, and the entire time, he entertained all sorts of possible scenarios.

When Aaden finally dismissed everyone – fifteen minutes earlier – Sehun told Wendi that he had something to discuss with the professor regarding the assignment. She bought it because he was not the only one.

There was a line of students waiting at the front to talk to Aaden. Sehun joined them and made sure he was the last in line.

“Jesus,” the girl in front of him muttered to her friend. “He looks _delicious_ in that shirt.”

Sehun had not even noticed what Aaden was wearing today. He had something better to obsess over now, and he took a little pride in that. He knew what Aaden tasted like. He knew what the man looked like when he was at his highest. He knew how strong those fingers were. He knew more about Aaden than anyone else in this room did.

Aaden was clad in blood-red shirt and black slacks today. As much as he liked black clothing, damn red was definitely his colour.

He quickly answered the other students’ doubts before he looked to Sehun and frowned. He waited until the others were gone to speak. “Yes, Sehun.”

Sehun swallowed and said, “I need some help with the assignment.”

Aaden’s frown deepened, and he looked unconvinced. “Can you get a bit more specific with what it is that you need help with?”

Sehun had thought of this beforehand because he really could use some help. So, it was not entirely an excuse to talk to Aaden. “I don’t know where to find good cases to investigate regarding my topic.”

“Well, there are some sources and sites,” said Aaden. “I can email you with the details.”

He immediately turned his back to Sehun and started fiddling with the projector.

Sehun chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. “I also need some help with structuring the paper.”

Aaden stilled, shoulders squaring. He faced Sehun again. “Sure.”

“Can I book a meeting with you?”

Aaden was silent for a length, his beautiful green eyes narrowing knowingly. “Sehun,” he sighed heavily with disapproval, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sehun made a face. “You are the professor, right? You help everyone else. Who am _I_ supposed to get the help from?”

Aaden looked at him pitifully then. “Do you really need my help with the assignment?”

Sehun nodded. “Yes,” he murmured. “Or you can drop me or fail me right now, if that’s easier.”

With a heavy breath, Aaden said, “I am not going to drop you or fail you, Sehun.”

“Good. Then help me.”

After a bit more thought, Aaden turned to his laptop. “Let’s hold a meeting on campus this time,” he said, perusing his schedule. “How does Tuesday next week at four work for you?”

Sehun kept mum, staring at Aaden.

The man looked up from his computer with an arched brow, waiting for a response.

“Sehun,” he let out after a while with that defeated, tired sigh of his. “Can you stop... looking at me like that and focus?”

Sehun rolled his jaw. “Why can’t it be at your place again on a weekend?”

Aaden rubbed the back of his neck, shaking his head like he was annoyed. “You know why,” he said.

“I don’t.”

It was Aaden’s turn to stare at Sehun without a response. He stared at Sehun’s scowling eyes first. Then he stared at Sehun’s lips. Then he looked away, gulping.

“If we do it at my place,” he said, voice guttural. “will you promise to behave?”

Sehun nearly scoffed. “You make it sound like I violated you.”

Aaden flinched. “I did not say that.”

“Right. Because you would have reported me to the dean if I had, right? So, you admit that you were willing, and you readily played a part in it.”

Aaden set his jaw tight then. “We should not be talking about this now,” he growled under his breath.

Sehun huffed. “Fine. I will behave myself.”

“We will only discuss your assignment.”

Sehun shrugged.

“How does Saturday at four?”

“Make it five o’clock,” said Sehun. It was not a request. It came out sounding like a demand, and he in fact was making demands.

Aaden looked at him warily, sensing Sehun’s threat. “You promised that you wouldn’t hold... what had happened between us against me.”

“I’m not,” said Sehun stoically. He stepped into Aaden’s personal space once again, trapping him behind the podium. “I promise to keep my hands... and my mouth on their best behaviour, _Professor_.”

Aaden exhaled a trembling breath. “You are really pushing boundaries here, Sehun,” he said in a low whisper.

“And something tells me that you like it,” breathed Sehun, hooking a finger around one of Aaden’s belt loops. He brought his face close enough to Aaden’s to feel the man’s prickly beard on the chin brush against his lips.

Aaden’s hands were gripping the podium behind him, as though he were trying to stay them from touching Sehun.

“See you on Saturday, Professor,” exhaled Sehun before he pulled away and walked out of the hall.

* * *

Saturday could not have come soon enough. Getting through Friday and most of Saturday was tough. Sehun tried to distract himself by inviting Wendi over to hang out.

“I win again!” she yelped, throwing herself onto Sehun after tossing the controller aside.

“Thanks to luck,” grumbled Sehun.

Wendi shot up to grab a new bag of potato chips from the kitchen while Sehun checked his watch again. It was only two in the afternoon.

“What’s going on?” she asked, and he looked up at her.

“What?”

“Do you have somewhere to be or are we expecting someone else?” she inquired, settling back down on the couch next to him. “You’ve been looking at the time like every five minutes.”

“Uh... yeah. I am meeting up with someone later.”

There were both curiosity and discontent in Wendi’s reaction. “Is it... someone special?”

Sehun lowered his eyes, twiddling his thumbs. “Kind of.”

Wendi gasped before she punched him on the arm. Very hard.

“Ouch!”

“You are seeing someone, and you did not tell me?!” she snarled almost ferally. “I thought I’m your best friend! Am I the last person to know this?!”

“No, no,” Sehun told her immediately. “You’re actually... the first person to know this.”

Wendi raised her eyebrows.

“And we’re not... seeing each other,” muttered Sehun.

“Then?” She looked more confused now.

“I mean, he is special to me,” he said. “But I don’t think I’m special to him.”

Wendi pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose. “So, what is this then? A booty call?”

“No!” yapped Sehun. “I’m just... meeting him tonight. And we’re only going to be talking. I like him but there’s literally nothing happening between us, okay?”

“You’re not hooking up?”

“No.” Sehun’s face turned hot just thinking about hooking up with Aaden regularly. It would surely be a thrill ride, but he’d only end up getting hurt in the end, wouldn’t he?

“Exciting,” murmured Wendi in a dull tone. “I hope you don’t get too attached to him, then.”

“I won’t.”

In fact, he was determined to give Aaden exactly what the man asked of him. It would be hard, but he could at least try to pretend like nothing had happened, too. Like Aaden. Maybe that would help him sleep again at night.

Noticing Sehun’s discomfort, Wendi dropped the subject and challenged him for another round of _Mario Kart_.

* * *

He arrived at Aaden’s house twenty minutes past five in the evening. But that was because he had stopped briefly by Adella’s café to grab some coffee.

Then standing on Aaden’s doorstep, he rang the bell and waited. He heard Odis’ bark. Hopefully, he’d be able to see the dog again this time.

Aaden opened the door and greeted Sehun with a formal greeting before he looked to the two coffee cups Sehun was holding in his hands.

“I, um, got you your favourite,” said Sehun, holding out one of the cups. “It’s Cafe con Leche, right?”

Aaden folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Did you poison it?”

Was he making a joke? Was Aaden Ford _joking_? Was he even capable of such thing?

“I guess you’ll find out if you’re brave enough,” said Sehun with a shrug.

A corner of Aaden’s lips quirked up into a faint smirk then. “I guess I will.” He took the cup from Sehun’s hand, as though it were a peace offering. “Come in.”

His dog stood in the hallway, wagging its tail in excitement.

Sehun removed his shoes before he crouched down to pet Odis, who appreciated all the scratches and rubs he was getting from the stranger.

Instead of leading Sehun into the dining room, this time, Aaden walked into the living room.

There were plenty of room for them to maintain a safe distance from one another.

“Please, have a seat,” Aaden said, maintaining that professional demeanour, as he sat down on the three-seater couch.

Sehun settled on the single sofa and put his bag down on the floor.

“Thanks for the coffee,” said Aaden, placing the cup on the coffee table. Sehun nodded. They sat in silence for a stretch before Aaden broke it. “So, I have printed out some materials for you. I am quite curious about the topic you’ve chosen. Have you thought about how you might narrow it down? What religions or cultures you might want to look at that practise exorcism? There are also cult practices that you can investigate. And I’ve also sent you an email with some links. Did you get a chance to have a look at them?”

“Some of them,” Sehun admitted dryly.

This was killing him. How was Aaden able to do this like some expert in façades and pretences?

“Have you started writing?” inquired Aaden.

“No.”

“You really should,” he said, but not in an authoritative voice. “I know starting is the most difficult part of writing, but once you do, it really does get–”

“I’m sorry,” Sehun cut him off.

Aaden stared at him. “What exactly are you sorry for, Sehun?” he asked calmly.

He was wearing a white shirt with a pair of blue jeans, untucked. It was a casual look. His pushed back hair looked soft.

“You know,” mumbled Sehun, lowering his head. “For everything.”

Aaden leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, hanging his own head low. “I appreciate that,” he said quietly, as though he had sand in his throat.

“I hope... you don’t hate me,” whispered Sehun.

Aaden brought his head up then to look at Sehun with an odd expression. It was kind and gentle and a little guilty. “I don’t hate you, Sehun,” he said. “I understand that you have this crush... on me. Trust me. I’ve seen it before. Not from... boys but girls, definitely. I’ve never let any of them get this far, so what’s happening right now is partly my fault. But I hope we can still salvage some professionalism of our relationship and move past this.”

No doubt Aaden intended that as a comfort. But Sehun only found it insulting. He wanted to take back his apology now. With his eyebrows furrowing in a scowl, he said, “With all due respect, I don’t think I’m one of your doe-eyed students with a childish crush. Only I know what I feel. You don’t have to _diagnose_ me every time.”

“Sehun–”

“Maybe you think too highly of yourself because I literally lowered myself for you,” spat Sehun. “And that’s my mistake. But I do like you, Aaden. As a man.”

Aaden rubbed his temples. “You’ve known me for less than two months, Sehun. How can you possibly know what sort of man I am?”

Sehun did not answer that.

“And what you’re hoping for will never happen,” Aaden spat bluntly. “This is just an infatuation. It isn’t real. And I am not... like you.”

“You mean gay?”

Aaden sensed the threat of sickening argument from Sehun and clenched his jaw.

“Look,” said Sehun. “I couldn’t care less about what you identify yourself as. But it’s you who doesn’t know what’s real and what isn’t.”

They fell silent again. Aaden was looking the other way, his shoulders rising and falling unsteadily as his breathing quickened.

“Fuck,” muttered Sehun, standing up. “I’m sorry for being a pain in your neck and wasting your time. I just wanted to tell you that I’ll stay away from now.”

As he started towards the door, Aaden’s hand flew up to catch Sehun’s wrist. He stopped, looking down at Aaden’s fingers that were gripping his wrist.

“You are not making this easy for me,” he growled quietly, not looking up at Sehun.

“I really think I am trying to now,” replied Sehun, though his heart was hammering against his chest.

Aaden rose from the couch then and met Sehun’s eyes. His hand came loose around Sehun’s wrist and travelled up at his arm before it curled around a side of Sehun’s neck, his thumb sliding along the jawline.

His hand was surprisingly callused and rough against Sehun’s skin. Rougher than Sehun had imagined it would be.

This felt like one of those dreams Sehun did not want to wake up from.

Aaden’s gaze bounced between Sehun’s eyes and mouth for a moment while Sehun stood completely frozen, rooted to the ground.

“Damn it,” Aaden breathed out suddenly and withdrew his hand, letting it fall back to his side. He looked embarrassed as he scratched his beard, drawing a deep breath. He brushed past Sehun and meandered into the kitchen.

Sehun thought of leaving, but he did not want to now. Not after _that_.

He followed Aaden into the kitchen a moment later and found the man slouched over the sink with a glass of water in his hand.

Walking up to him, Sehun lifted a hand to his back, letting it skate down the deep cleft of Aaden’s back. He felt the muscles tauten under his touch as Aaden straightened his shoulder blades.

He slowly turned around with a sigh, putting the glass down.

Sehun’s hand was now splayed over his chest. Aaden allowed it. He looked defeated as he met Sehun’s gaze. “We can’t do this,” he said breathily.

Sehun smiled weakly. It was no longer ‘ _you_ can’t do this’.

“We don’t have to,” he told Aaden then, enjoying the way Aaden’s pupils dilated as he started unbuttoning the man’s shirt. He only managed to unfasten one of the buttons before Aaden seized his wrist with one hand while the other grabbed Sehun’s waist, shoving him back until he was slammed against the edge of the kitchen island.

“Aaden–” Sehun began to gasp, but he was promptly cut off by Aaden’s lips that crashed against his.

_Holy fuck._

This was what diving impetuously into a pool of magma must feel like. While Aaden’s mouth demandingly claimed Sehun’s, his hands were gripping Sehun’s waist with a force that might have bruised the sides of it. In that moment, Sehun did not care about breathing. His lungs suffered, but so did the rest of his body. Not even his vivid, creative imagination could have prepared him for this.

The Aaden Sehun had known thus far had been accommodating, nice, polite, even when Sehun did not deserve it. He had been incredibly patient. But right now, he was like a feral animal, wanting to rip his prey open and feast on its insides. All the patience had transformed into a primal hunger.

It was as though all of his walls had been brought down, and the last slivers of his composure had disappeared.

Sehun’s skin around the mouth felt raw from Aaden’s recently trimmed beard. But it was worth it. Not being able to breathe was worth it. This was easily the best kiss Sehun had ever experienced. And it was very obvious that Aaden had had plenty of practice in this.

His hands were not fumbling like Sehun’s were, which were clinging to the man’s shirt, shoulders, arms, back, and neck. His kisses were firm and sure, too. Sehun tried to kiss him back to keep up, but at some point, he simply yielded and let Aaden have his way with his lips.

As much as Sehun never wanted this to end, Aaden did break the kiss eventually. He pulled back, gasping in a sharp, much-needed breath, and stared at Sehun’s swollen lips for a minute. Then he lunged in for more.

Sehun locked his arms around the man’s shoulders as Aaden hoisted him up onto the kitchen island, his hands gripping the back of Sehun’s thighs. He then slipped his hands into Sehun’s shirt at the back while Sehun planted one of his hands in Aaden’s hair, clutching at it tightly. He moaned, tilting his back a little as Aaden caught his lower lip between his teeth, tugging at it gently.

Releasing Aaden’s hair, Sehun grabbed the lapels of his shirt to rip it open. Aaden did not mind Sehun ruining his shirt. He seemed too busy and distracted with bruising Sehun’s lips.

Sehun wished that he could stop for a moment to look at Aaden’s body, so that he could confirm his fantasies. But Aaden had no plans to give Sehun’s lips back to his control anytime soon.

So, Sehun drew his hands down the front of Aaden’s torso to feel as much of Aaden as he could for the time being. His chest was toned and hard, dusted with some hairs. His fingers got briefly tangled in the chain around Aaden’s neck. And fuck, the way his abs flexed under Sehun’s hands had him grunting into the man’s mouth.

He wrapped his legs around Aaden’s waist then, moaning as Aaden’s hard bulge pressed into his crotch. He did not exactly have a strict preference in bed (it depended on his mood and his partner), but right now, he knew precisely what he wanted.

And he could tell what Aaden wanted, too.

The bedroom was too far from their reach, and neither of them had much patience. So, the couch on the living room would have to suffice.

Sehun kept his limbs locked around Aaden as he was borne to the living room in Aaden’s arms, their mouths still battling against one another.

As soon as they had reached the couch, Sehun shoved Aaden down on it before he mounted the man, straddling his hips. He could tell that Aaden liked this.

Pressing his hands to Aaden’s bare heaving stomach, Sehun tried to catch his breath for a moment before he took off his own shirt, discarding it to the floor.

Aaden swallowed with some difficulty then, his hands coming to the sides of Sehun’s torso while his eyes feasted on the sight before him. He pushed himself up next and pressed a kiss to the skin between Sehun’s collarbones. Sehun closed his eyes and arched his neck, throwing his head back as Aaden began to pepper his neck with maddening kisses.

His breathing was fast again, and he had not realized kisses on the neck could be this pleasurable. He took hold of Aaden’s hair in a fist and bowed his head to sloppily kiss the man on the mouth before he shoved him back to lie down on the couch.

Aaden watched, panting hard, as Sehun hastily undid the buckle of his belt and the fly of his jeans. “Wait,” he rasped all of a sudden, and Sehun stilled, an immediate frown wrinkling his forehead. “The bed. Now.”

Sehun was not given a chance to protest as Aaden hurriedly rose from the couch and dragged him up the stairs.

His bedroom was exactly how Sehun had expected it to be. Simple and practical. There wasn’t any furniture or décor that did not make sense.

And he had a king-sized bed. Convenient.

The automated nightstand lamps were turned on.

Sehun got rid of his pants before he climbed onto the bed and watched Aaden step out of his own jeans and boxers, gnawing at his lip while he leered so obscenely at Sehun on his bed.

He then shook his head, breathing heavily as he crawled into the bed, too, between Sehun’s legs.

“You are so,” he said breathlessly, taking Sehun in his hands again. “beautiful.”

If Sehun had blushed any harder, his face might have gone numb. Draping a leg around Aaden’s waist and clinging to his neck with a hand, he asked, “How do you want me?”

Aaden licked his lips, his forehead pressed against Sehun’s, as he grabbed Sehun’s thigh, stroking it over his boxers.

“Like this,” he whispered before he started tugging Sehun’s boxers down his thighs.

This was going better than Sehun could have ever hoped for.

Aaden’s cross brushed against Sehun’s lips while Aaden straightened up a little to hook an arm under Sehun’s waist to position him right. He then took a long moment to savour Sehun.

A string of moans escaped Sehun’s lips when Aaden tongued one of his nipples before sucking it into his mouth. “Oh, fuck,” he breathed, clutching at Aaden’s hair, as the man slithered lower, leaving a blazing trail of kisses on the flat planes of Sehun’s belly and navel.

He then straightened up to kneel and turned Sehun around to lie on his stomach. Excitement began to bubble in Sehun’s chest. He looked over his shoulder once before he dropped his face onto the pillow.

“Aaden,” he moaned as the man kissed along his spine, all the way down to the tailbone, following the trail of his cross, which dragged along Sehun’s back.

This felt like a filthy sin, even to Sehun. In the best way possible, though.

Aaden was already covered in sweat, and he was nowhere near done with Sehun.

Grabbing Sehun’s hips, he yanked them up to position Sehun on his knees while Sehun’s face and shoulders were still pressed into the pillow.

Now, he used his fingers, and Sehun’s eyes rolled into his head.

He heard Aaden curse quietly under his breath as he dragged a finger along the cleft of Sehun’s ass. It made Sehun shudder.

Then he replaced his finger with his tongue, circling the tip of it along the tight rim of muscles. Sehun was a sobbing mess within minutes, especially with Aaden taking hold of his cock, slowly stroking it to match the pace of his tongue.

“Fuck, please,” Sehun gasped, as much as he liked how Aaden was teasing him. “I want you. Please. Please.”

Aaden was desperate enough to give Sehun what he wanted. “You are not half as obedient or polite other times,” commented Aaden in a groan (with a subtext ‘ _but just as impatient’_ ) as he reached for the drawers and retrieved a tube of runny lotion and a pack of condom.

He was prepared. Not for Sehun, but just in general. Which meant, this was not the first time he was doing this. With another guy that was. And he knew exactly what he was doing.

He turned Sehun onto his back again and kissed him for a length before he knelt up. Holding his breath, Sehun watched him tear the condom pack open with his teeth before he slid it on, taking his rock-hard cock in his hand. Sehun gulped, watching the protruding veins on the back of Aaden’s hand and forearm as he stroked his own cock for a moment while applying the lube.

“Are you sure... you’re ready?” he asked Sehun then, frowning a little.

Sehun nodded, mouth dry. “I’m fine,” he exhaled.

Sometimes he needed a bit more preparation. But tonight, it did not matter. No amount of fingering or light stretching was going to prepare him for that length.

He came up to stand on his knees for a moment, cupping a side of Aaden’s face to kiss him full on the mouth before he turned his back to the man and bent low, on all fours.

Aaden started slow. Very slow. And even then it made Sehun’s eyes water.

He bit into the sheets, hands fisted around them too, and tried to concentrate on the way Aaden’s cock pulsed against him. Aaden held Sehun down with one hand on the small of Sehun’s back and the other gripping his hip.

“Are you okay?” he asked, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of Sehun’s shoulder.

Sehun nodded shakily into the mattress, clenching his eyes and groaning as Aaden slid further in until he was all the way in.

“You feel so good,” exhaled Aaden, the sound of his ragged breathing filling the room.

It took Sehun a lot longer than usual to get used to the feeling, but he was also more eager than ever. He eventually plopped onto his back once more, so that he could look at Aaden, who was dripping with sweat.

“Kiss me,” he panted, fingers clawing at Aaden’s abs. “Please.”

Aaden paused his thrusts at once to lean forward and fervently kiss Sehun, licking the insides of his mouth while his hands groped at Sehun’s thighs and cock.

“Harder,” Sehun gasped against Aaden’s mouth then, wrapping his arms and legs around the man, and Aaden was happy to oblige.

He was going to be sore and walking funny for days. He came first, just as Aaden began to pick up the pace of his thrusts, finding all the sweet spots to slam into until Sehun was begging for it in tears and cries.

When it was Aaden’s turn, he pulled out of Sehun and hurriedly got rid of the condom before he took himself in his hand and started stroking himself to ecstasy. Sehun ran a hand through his sweat slicked hair, fighting for breath as Aaden shot out in thick white ropes all over his belly with a hand gripping one of Sehun’s knees.

Then completely spent and wasted, Aaden collapsed on top of him, burying his face in the crook of Sehun’s neck while he caught his breath and came down from his high.


	3. Chapter 3

He was not sure when he had fallen asleep, but when he woke up in the middle of the night, Sehun squinted at the gentle light from the nightlamps on either side of the bed.

He lifted his head, which was resting on Aaden’s chest that was rising and falling steadily, and looked at Aaden, who was fast asleep. He was not too bad of a snorer, but his breathing was very loud and heavy. He had one arm wrapped loosely around Sehun’s waist and the other tucked under his head.

So, it had not been a dream, after all. Unless this was a dream too, and it would not be the first time Sehun would have had a dream like this. But not even his dreams could be this surreal.

He pressed a hand to Aaden’s chest where his head had been resting a moment ago. He surveyed Aaden’s face and spent body with his eyes. There was just too much to remember, and Sehun wanted to byheart everything about this man right away.

Everything that had happened could not have possibly been real, and at the same time, nothing had ever been realer than this.

It was in this moment when Sehun realized his crush – and perhaps even _obsession_ – could be fatal. He never knew he liked Aaden _this_ much. The man could have ripped him open back there, and Sehun would have gladly surrendered.

There was a lot to figure out and to think about, too.

But for now, Sehun’s body was too sore, and he was still jaded with sleep. So, he slinked out of Aaden’s embrace and the bed, careful not to wake the man up, before he found his way to the bathroom.

He was not sure if Aaden wanted him to stay over, but he did not think he’d be able to head back home in the dead of the night when he could barely even walk.

He wobbled back to the bed after inspecting all the bruises on his body – or rather _admiring_ them – and nestled on Aaden’s side again.

He glanced at the golden cross resting in the cleft of Aaden’s chest. He wondered if Aaden did things like this often. And by ‘things like this’ he meant sleeping with his students, not with other men. The latter seemed pretty obvious by now. Wendi had been right about the man all along. Aaden was a closet case, who was putting up a religious front for the rest of the world (for some unknown reason). Or perhaps he really was religious. The battle between being truthful to one’s faith and being truthful to oneself was never that simple.

Either way, Sehun did not care. All that mattered was right now. He was here, sidled up cosily next to the man of his dreams after the man had smashed him to the point of numbness, kissed him until his lips were raw and swollen. This was more than enough for now.

Aaden stirred a moment later, withdrawing his arm from around Sehun. He scratched his beard and rubbed his eyes before he opened them. He did not look surprised when he found Sehun’s body pressed against his own, but he did not look happy either.

He sat up on the edge of the bed and slouched his shoulders, hanging his head. He stayed that way for a long while and flinched when Sehun reached over to touch his back.

“Hey,” Sehun let out. This was that awkward point of sobriety in the aftermath of a hook-up which he always dreaded and tried to avoid. Usually, that meant leaving as soon as he was done. But he did not want to leave now. He wanted to stay – perhaps forever – with Aaden.

Aaden only exhaled audibly heavily before he rose from the bed and pulled his boxers on before he disappeared in the bathroom.

Sitting up, Sehun leaned back against the headboard and frowned at the closed bathroom door. He then worried his lower lip, which was bruised enough, and gnawed at it ceaselessly. Was Aaden feeling guilty? Was it regret? Was he going to tell Sehun to leave?

His stomach began to churn. He pulled his knees up under the covers and hugged them to his chest.

Aaden returned sometime later. Sehun could smell his minty mouthwash even from a distance as Aaden grabbed a small remote control and clicked at the windows to drop the blinds.

“Would you like some water?” he asked as he headed for the door. He glanced back at Sehun, who nodded after a few seconds. Aaden licked his lips, walking out, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Sehun could not tell what the man was feeling, but he was bricking himself, all of a lather. Cold sweats began to form on his skin while he anxiously waited for Aaden to come back. Perhaps he should get dressed for the inevitable, _‘that was a mistake, you should go.’_

But then Aaden came back with two tall glasses of water in his hands. He handed one of them to Sehun, who grabbed it with both hands and drank all the water in just a few gulps. He was nervous, he was parched, he was shaking harder than he had when Aaden was ramming into him.

Aaden plumped down once more on the edge of the bed with his back turned to Sehun. He took a few sips of the water before placing the glass on the nightstand.

Sehun swallowed and said, “Are you... okay?”

He watched the muscles on Aaden’s back tauten as he squared his shoulders. “Will you... hold this against me?” Aaden asked instead.

Sehun blinked, straightening up. “This? As in... what we just did?”

Aaden nodded.

Sehun could not believe that out of all things, this was what distressed the man the most. “Why would I hold it against you?”

Aaden took a moment to answer. “Because I am your professor and you are my student, Sehun,” he said it as a matter-of-factly, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

Sehun understood two things then. One, Aaden had not done it with one of his students before. And two, he was worried that Sehun was going to tattle and ruin his reputation and career.

“Do you... really think that I am that shallow?” Sehun asked this earnestly, his eyebrows furrowed in disappointment.

Aaden turned and met his gaze then. “I did not mean it like that.”

“Do you think I would sleep with you just to hurt you?”

Aaden’s frown deepened. He lowered his head and stayed mum for a moment. “I don’t think that,” he whispered at length. “But I can’t... risk it, Sehun.”

Sehun made a face. “Then maybe you should have thought about that before you took me to your bed? Don’t you think it’s a little too late to be thinking about not _risking it_? You already fucked me, Aaden. I know you are not straight. I’m not going to tell anyone about it, but you have already risked it.”

Aaden took a deep breath. “I don’t like these labels,” he grumbled, turning his back to Sehun again.

“I am not talking about labels,” said Sehun. “You are who you are. I couldn’t care less about what your sexuality tag is. But living a falsehood must be exhausting.”

Aaden did not reply to this.

Sehun scooted a little closer to him. “I won’t tell. I promise,” he told the man gently, touching his arm. “I just wanted to be with you, Aaden.”

“I don’t think I’m living a falsehood,” muttered Aaden as Sehun drew his hand up to Aaden’s shoulder, admiring the curves and firmness of the man’s biceps under his touch. “I do have faith.”

“But you also don’t follow everything it preaches,” whispered Sehun, resting his head on Aaden’s shoulder blade. Aaden allowed it.

“I try to,” he replied, head hung low, eyes staring at his upturned palms. “I haven’t... done this in a long time.”

“What? Sex?”

Licking his lips, Aaden nodded.

As much as Sehun wanted to ask if it were with a man or a woman, he noticed Aaden’s distraught. “Well,” he let out, pressing a kiss to the back of Aaden’s neck. It made the man shudder. “It did not show.”

He could tell Aaden was smirking now.

Sehun pulled back and rose to his knees then. He crawled to the edge and straddled Aaden, planting his knees into the mattress.

Sucking in a sharp, trembly breath, Aaden brought his hands to the sides of Sehun’s waist while Sehun draped his arms around the man’s shoulders, a hand slipping into Aaden’s hair by the nape.

Aaden’s eyes travelled from Sehun’s chest, his toned stomach, and already hardening length. He then moved his hands to the small of Sehun’s back before they dropped to grope at his ass.

“I really... tried,” said Aaden, breathing hard and fast as Sehun bowed his head and pressed their foreheads together, mouth open and panting, a hand fisting Aaden’s hair.

“Tried to what?” asked Sehun, sliding his other hand into Aaden’s boxers to take hold of his cock.

“To... stop this from happening. To stay away.”

Sehun met his eyes. “Since when?” he asked, blinking.

Aaden bit his lower lip, a hand skidding up and down Sehun’s back. “Since... I saw that document on your computer. I mean, I found you incredibly attractive right from the get-go, and I felt so awful about it. You were my student.”

“ _Are_.”

Aaden’s face twisted into a grimace. “This is...”

“Not wrong,” said Sehun before Aaden could finish. “I told you. I like you, Aaden. We’re both consenting adults. I’m your student now, but I’m not going to stay your student forever.”

Talking about the future felt almost illegal at the moment, and Sehun did not want to be turned down before they even got a chance to explore their possibilities. What if this was just a one-time thing for Aaden? Certainly he did not feel for Sehun as strongly as Sehun felt for him. So, he quickly diverted the subject.

“It felt good,” he muttered, his lips brushing Aaden’s. “for me. You... felt good. We don’t have to think or worry about anything else tonight. Just fuck me one more time.”

Aaden’s breathing quickened again, and his hands were gripping Sehun’s ass once more. “You are...”

“Shameless?”

Aaden smiled. “I was going to say uninhibited.”

“Same thing,” murmured Sehun before he leaned forward and kissed Aaden’s mouth, moaning as Aaden slipped a finger down the cleft of his ass and rubbed his sore opening.

“Are you sure,” Aaden asked, sliding the finger into Sehun. “you’re good for another round?”

Sehun plunged in and sucked on Aaden’s lower lip. “I’ll be fine,” he groaned as Aaden pulled the finger out to smear it with spit before he slid it back into Sehun. “Fuck,” he moaned, tossing his head back while Aaden began to finger him harder.

He was eventually picked up and plopped down on the mattress before Aaden mounted him once again, thrusting into him fiercely.

They’d worry in the morning. Tonight, they had plenty of hours to ravish each other’s bodies and unearth undiscovered pleasures.

* * *

When morning came, Sehun did not want to get out of bed. His body would be in pain for days, no doubt. He shifted on the bed, grunting hoarsely, and it hurt. His throat would be sore for days, too. He opened his eyes and glowered angrily at the morning sunlight that pierced through the blinds’ slits.

He was lying on his stomach, both arms stretched out across the king-sized bed. As much as he did not want to move an inch, he wondered where Aaden was.

The room smelled like his cologne, but there was no sign of him.

Groaning and grimacing, Sehun turned onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment before he sat up and limped his way to the bathroom.

The morning came with soberness and clarity. He stood before the massive bathroom mirror and took some time to pore over every new mark and bruise on his body. He would have a hard time hiding the hickeys on his neck, but he did not resent them. In fact, he could not stop smiling at his reflection. He was all bent out of shape, and he had never been more gratified. He decided that he liked Aaden best when the man was completely out of control. He did not hold onto a single ounce of composure last night when he was ravaging Sehun.

After cleaning up, he found his clothes piled up neatly on a corner of the bed, even the shirt he had left downstairs last night.

Aaden had a beautiful house. Everything was so neat and organized, simple yet elegant, just like him.

It was nothing like Sehun’s messy studio apartment. Aaden was everything Sehun was not.

He was a little nervous as he made his way downstairs. Although they had talked a bit about it last night between their sessions, things generally seemed different in the light of day. Even if he did not regret it, he knew that it would be difficult to go on without some changes now, and he still was not sure what Aaden’s state of mind was.

The man was a moving target sometimes, so there was no telling what Sehun should anticipate.

He stopped at the bottom of the staircase when Odis sprung over to him, barking and wagging his tail in excitement.

“Hey, boy,” said Sehun, crouching down to pet the dog. Odis gave him a few licks on the face to show his appreciation before he ran back into the living room.

Aaden was on the couch, slouched over his laptop and a couple of folders. He was wearing glasses. Sehun did not know he wore glasses.

Even on a Sunday, the man was up early, hair all gelled up, beard trimmed, smelling like expensive aftershaves and colognes. He was wearing his beige Henley shirt again, and Sehun wanted to rip it off his body.

God, he was not someone who was easily aroused, but even the mere sight of Aaden did unspeakable things to him.

He cleared his throat, entering the living room diffidently. Aaden craned his head up at once and looked at Sehun over the frame of his glasses.

“Sehun,” he said, removing them. “You’re awake.”

Sehun swallowed and ran his tongue over his chapped lips. “Yeah. I should get home now.”

“Oh. Do you want me to drive you home?”

Sehun almost said yes, but he did not want to trouble Aaden. He looked busy enough. “No, that’s all right.”

Setting his laptop on the couch, Aaden rose to his feet. He was sporting an unreadable expression, but it did not look he was upset. In fact, he smiled.

And that was when Sehun lunged forward to kiss him. It took Aaden by surprise. He staggered back a step as Sehun practically attacked him before almost immediately and blushed with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” muttered Sehun.

Aaden licked his lips and smirked. “It’s okay,” he said. “I think I’m getting used to your impulses.”

Sehun’s heart skipped a beat. He was not sure if the man was taunting him or making promises for the future. “I am not... usually this impulsive,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt like an idiot for blushing after everything that they had done last night. “It’s just... when I’m around you...” he trailed off, shyly meeting Aaden’s bright green eyes.

Slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans, Aaden closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Sehun’s for a chaste, soft kiss. “You’re not the only one between us who gives in to his impulses,” he said in a voice that made even the coldest parts of Sehun thaw. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the lecture.”

That was Sehun’s cue to get going. As he pulled on his shoes, Aaden held the door open for him, holding Odis’ collar to stop the dog from bolting out to the lawn.

Sehun walked out the door and paused. Then with a heavy breath, he turned around and faced Aaden again. “I just want to know something,” he said. “Where are we... standing?”

Aaden arched an eyebrow.

“I know we’re not dating or anything,” Sehun said in an attempt to clarify. “And I am not asking for that. But I... I...” He clenched his fists, momentarily distracted by the sharp sting in his hipbones. “Would you want to... do this again?”

Aaden released Odis’ collar and let the dog chase the squirrel that skittering across his lawn. “Sehun,” he said in a stern tone. “You understand that we have to be careful, right?”

Sehun nodded.

“You told me that you wanted me,” Aaden said then, quietly. He took a step closer and touched Sehun’s chin for a second. “And I wanted you, too. This isn’t... something I do regularly. I want you to know that.”

Sehun held his breath.

“I’ll see you at school,” Aaden said as the last thing. Sehun climbed down the porch and bade Odis goodbye before he walked home.

* * *

“Are you not feeling well?” Wendi asked when Sehun showed up to class the next day, wearing three layers of clothes and a scarf wrapped around his neck.

“Maybe,” he said. He did not know if it were post-sex fatigue or if he really were getting sick, but he was feeling a little under the weather. He still could not feel some parts of his body, and he continued to walk funny. Biking to campus today had been hell. But he had managed to sleep like a baby for the past two nights.

“How did it go?”

“How did what go?” muttered Sehun, retrieving his laptop from his bag.

“Your date with your... _not­_ -boyfriend.”

Sehun had completely forgotten that he had even told her that. “It wasn’t a date.”

“Did you get laid?”

Sehun froze in his seat, gulping.

Wendi gasped loudly beside him. “You _did!”_

“Shut up, Wendi. I did not.”

“Oh, you so totally did! That’s why you’re wearing that hideous scarf!”

“Hey! My grandma knitted it for me.”

“I thought you said it was never going to happen.”

Sehun chewed on the inside of his cheek while Wendi clung to his arm.

“Come on! Spill! What happened?” she yipped.

“Okay, okay,” groaned Sehun. “If I told you the truth, will you stop announcing to the whole lecture hall that I got laid?”

Wendi waited eagerly.

Sehun tried to be as casual and stoic as he could, even though his insides were twisting and knotting even at the thought of everything that had happened between him and Aaden last Saturday.

“Yes,” he mumbled. “We... went there.”

“How?!”

Sehun shrugged. “He just... kissed me all of a sudden, and the next thing we know, we’re... on his bed.”

“Doing what?”

“Wendi!”

“Well, I need to know that my best friend was being safe.”

“I was,” grumbled Sehun, scowling.

“So, are you boyfriends now?”

Sehun drew a breath and glanced to the door through which Aaden walked in. “No,” he muttered as the class fell quiet.

“Good morning,” Aaden greeted chirpily. He did not bother looking for Sehun in the hall as he sauntered to the podium.

Almost immediately, Sehun’s heart dropped to his stomach. Had Aaden changed his mind since yesterday? Did he regret it all? Was he going to pretend like nothing had happened now?

“How far are you with your assignment?” asked Wendi. “Did Ford give you any pointers?”

Sehun kept his eyes on Aaden, waiting to see if the man would ever meet his gaze. He never did as he proceeded with today’s lecture. It was almost as though Sehun were completely invisible to him.

“Yup,” he told Wendi, jaw tightening. “He sure did.”

* * *

By the end of the lecture, Sehun decided that he was not going to seek out Aaden’s attention this time. Pursuing the man was nothing short of exhausting, to be honest.

But then Aaden stopped him as he started to follow Wendi out of the hall. “Sehun,” he called.

Pausing in his tracks, Sehun turned to him and blinked.

“Can you come to my office after your classes today?” he asked.

Sehun glanced to Wendi for a moment, who was staring at them confusedly.

“I’d like to talk to you about your assignment,” added Aaden.

“Oh,” said Sehun. “Sure. I’m done at three, though.”

Aaden nodded. “That’s fine.” He turned his back to Sehun at once.

“Why does he want to see you?” Wendi asked as they made their way toward the cafeteria together.

“You heard him,” said Sehun. Excitement began to stir in his belly. He glanced at his watch and cursed quietly. There was no way he would be able to wait until three in the afternoon. “He wanted to talk to me about my assignment.”

Wendi pouted then. “He never wanted to talk to _me_ about my assignment.”

“Probably because you’re good?”

“Your assignment topic is more interesting than mine.”

“You’re a better writer than I am.”

“Will you tell me what Ford tells you?”

Sehun sighed and said, “Sure.”

“I hope you’re not getting special treatments,” said Wendi. She could be quite competitive when it came to studies and grades.

“I’m sure I’m not,” said Sehun, although he could not help the smirk that tugged at a corner of his lips.

* * *

After impatiently sitting through the first hour of his International Relations class, relentlessly tapping his feet against the floor and checking the time every two minutes, he decided to slink out of the lecture an hour early.

When he reached Aaden’s office, he gave the door a couple of knocks before he pushed them open and stuck his head in.

“Sehun,” Aaden said from his desk. “I was not expecting you to show up for another hour.”

Closing the door behind him, Sehun dropped his backpack in a corner before he walked over to the desk. “Yeah, it was a boring class,” he said as he turned Aaden’s chair around and brought a knee up to Aaden’s thigh.

Aaden smirked while Sehun busied himself with loosening the man’s necktie. “It can’t be more boring than Religious Studies for you, can it? And you’ve stayed for every single lesson.”

“I’m sure by now you’ve figured out that my conscientiously attending your classes has nothing to do with the lessons,” purred Sehun, yanking the necktie from Aaden’s shirt collar.

“That’s a little disappointing,” said Aaden. “Wait.” He caught Sehun’s hands that were starting to unbuckle his belt.

“What?” asked Sehun. “Did you really want to talk to me about the assignment?”

“Well, we should talk about it at some point. How is it coming along?”

Groaning, Sehun grabbed his hair and smashed their lips together. Aaden stood up from his seat without breaking the kiss and shoved Sehun up against the desk.

Even though the windows were already covered, and the door was locked, the thrill of doing this here made Sehun’s blood rush.

“I was a little worried,” admitted Sehun, rasping against Aaden’s mouth.

“Why?”

“You did not look at me in class.”

Aaden pulled back and licked his lips. “We only do this within four walls,” he said, and it sounded like a command. “Out there, you are my student and I’m your professor.”

Sehun knew that this was all that it was ever going to be. He just did not realize the consequences and grievances that entailed that yet.

Even if Sehun were not a student, Aaden was not going to come out of the closet anytime soon. If he could not do it for himself, there was a slim chance that he would want to do it for someone else. Leaving everything he knew and lived by behind was not something that could be achieved overnight.

“Understood,” he told Aaden, taking off his scarf.

Noticing the faint disappointment in Sehun’s face, Aaden took a gentle hold of his chin and tipped it up before he kissed Sehun tenderly. Sehun kissed him back slowly, a hand curling around the man’s neck.

Aaden broke the kiss all of a sudden and rested his forehead against Sehun’s. He then breathed out an almost inaudible, “Shit.”

Hoisting Sehun up onto the desk, he quickly undid the belt and fly of his pants, claiming Sehun’s mouth once more for a deep, sloppy kiss.

Sehun took Aaden in his hand and stroked the pulsating member while their mouths battled in a passionate choreography.

“Fuck,” hissed Aaden, nearly biting Sehun’s lip. “What are you... doing to me, Sehun?”

Sehun broke away, looking at the man with bewilderment. “What do you mean?”

Aaden wrapped his hand around Sehun’s that was fisting his cock. “I can’t... stop thinking about you.”

Sehun lit up like a torchwood then. Grabbing the nape of Aaden’s neck, he pulled the man down for another long, desperate kiss.

He felt Aaden’s body tense up against his. Aaden’s hands were growing impatient as they tugged at Sehun’s hoodie and undershirts.

He pulled back at some point, snarling. “Why on earth are you wearing so many layers?” he asked, scowling.

“I was cold this morning,” panted Sehun.

Growling, Aaden gave up on trying to get Sehun’s clothes off as he yanked Sehun off the desk and spun him around.

Sehun’s breathing seized as Aaden bent him over the desk and tugged his joggers down. With excitement bubbling in the pit of his stomach, Sehun gasped for air, a hand reaching back to hold onto the back of Aaden’s head. His eyes rolled back, and he bit onto his lower lip to refrain himself from making any noise that might raise suspicion in the nearby teachers’ lounge.

He could tell that Aaden was enjoying this very much – watching Sehun bite back on moans and struggle to keep quiet while he tongued the puckered rim of muscle before sliding the tip of the tongue in.

He eventually replaced the tongue with the head of his cock, and Sehun slammed his face onto the glass desk, unable to stop the soft cry that broke from his throat.

Aaden clamped a hand over his mouth then. “Shh,” he hissed as he rode into him in a single, forceful thrust that made Sehun see stars for a moment. When his phone ringed out of the blue, he picked it up angrily, spitting, “In a meeting. Call me later,” before hanging up.

* * *

“Let me drive you home,” Aaden offered later that day in his office when they were finished, and Sehun was curled up in a chair, hugging his knees to his chest.

“I biked today,” muttered Sehun. He was still shaking. “I’ll be fine.”

Aaden frowned at him from where he was standing near the bookcases. “I insist.”

Sehun blushed, smiling. “Okay.”

“Just give me a few minutes. I need to answer some emails.”

While Aaden worked, Sehun sat quietly in his chair and tried not to think too much about all the different kinds of ache his body was in. Instead, he grabbed his phone and read all the unread messages from his brother, mom and Wendi.

When Aaden was done, he ushered Sehun out of the office.

“Are you sure?” asked Sehun as they wended their way toward the parking lot. “What if people see us?”

“You don’t look well,” said Aaden. “They’ll understand.”

“Well, whose fault is that?”

Aaden cocked an eyebrow before he looked away guiltily.

“I’m kidding,” said Sehun, nudging an elbow into Aaden’s arm.

It was the first time he was going to ride in Aaden’s car. If he weren’t so exhausted, he might have been more excited.

Once he was buckled in the passenger seat, he glanced to Aaden, who pulled the SUV out of the parking lot. His driving style made Sehun’s heartbeat faster. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gearstick, he kept only half of his attention on the road. The rest was on Sehun.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“What for?” asked Sehun, eyes widening.

“Maybe I... pushed you too far.”

Sehun scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself, Professor,” he spat, but Aaden frowned. “Hey. Can I have your personal phone number?”

Aaden gave him a sidelong glance before saying, “Just airdrop your number.”

Sehun nodded his head and fished his phone out of his pocket. “Will you really accept it?”

Aaden let out a breathy chuckle. “I wouldn’t ask you to do it otherwise, would I?”

“Yeah,” muttered Sehun, looking out the car window.

He only faced Aaden again when the man removed his hand from the gearstick and settled it on Sehun’s thigh, squeezing it gently. Sehun exhaled shakily. All of this did not feel like booty-call material.

“Can I ask you something else?” asked Sehun as Aaden drove towards Maple.

Aaden hesitated to respond, but he eventually said, “Sure.”

It was the least he could do after knocking Sehun’s insides out of their places. “Have you... done this before?”

Aaden glimpsed him briefly with a questioning look. “I’m not sure what you’re asking, Sehun.”

“You do,” argued Sehun. “I mean, this. Hooking up with students. Driving them home after fucking their brains out. That sort of stuff.” He did not mean for that to come out so crankily.

Aaden withdrew his hand from Sehun’s thigh and shifted the gear. “No,” he said sternly then with a lockjaw. “But that isn’t your business, is it? You said it yourself. We’re not dating.”

“Right,” muttered Sehun, staring out the window again. “Why are you doing this, then? With me? If you are not that type of a man.”

“Sehun...” sighed Aaden.

“I’m just saying,” said Sehun. “You’re taking some pretty big leaps here with some uninteresting, mediocre student with a big lip on him.”

“You are not... uninteresting. That is not a word I’d use to describe you.”

Sehun snorted. “Please,” he said. “You are worldly. You are so much more educated than I am. You know so much about... everything. You live in a palace. You have everything and you have seen everything. You are so mature. All that I’m good for is a booty call, aren’t I?”

Aaden kept mum, breathing heavily. Sehun frowned, lowering his head. Aaden did not speak until they had arrived at Maple. “Where’s your place?”

When they reached Sehun’s apartment building, Aaden released the locks. Instead, he turned in his seat to face Sehun. “All the things you’ve said about me are true,” he said. “But you also already know by now that there are... so many sides of me that are not admirable. I am all those things on the outside, but on the inside? I’m rotten, aren’t I? Broken. Corrupt.”

“Sleeping with other men does not make you broken or corrupt, Aaden,” said Sehun as gently as he could.

“That’s not it,” said Aaden quickly. “I don’t want you to think that that... or you make me corrupt. No. I swear by God, I don’t think ill of you, Sehun. You are right. Even if I do believe in my faith, I am living a lie. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do something about it, and that makes me a coward. But all I know is... you make me... question everything. I love your boldness, your impulsiveness, your... ability to unabashedly be yourself. In fact, I envy them. That night with you... I had never felt anything realer than that.”

Sehun had not expected to hear all that. So, he was not sure how to react to any of this. He was tongue-tied and sweating bullets under all his clothes, his bulged eyes staring at Aaden like a hawk.

“What I’m trying to say is,” said Aaden. “I’m not doing this with you because you are just another body. You are interesting to me. Everything about you is... mindboggling for me. And I know that you think I try to _diagnose_ you, but I’m really just trying to understand you, Sehun. You are a person... who has made me feel something real in a long time.”

He turned away and gripped the steering wheel, swallowing with noticeable difficulty.

Sehun wanted to ask the man why it had to be this way. Fine, they could keep their affair a secret, but why could they not be more than just whatever they were now? What would Aaden have to lose if they dated at some point? Maybe after Sehun had graduated.

He unfastened his seatbelt and said, “Thanks for the ride.”

Aaden’s eyebrows were knotted in a frown as Sehun pushed the door open and stepped out.

As Sehun walked towards his apartment, he began to wonder just how far he could do this dance with Aaden. He was determined to keep this going for as long as his heart stayed intact. But every time he walked away from Aaden, his heart manufactured a new crack.

He came to a halt when he spotted Wendi on the steps outside the building.

“Wendi,” he rasped, jaw falling slack, as she stood up with a baffled expression on her face. “What are you doing here?”

“Was that Ford? I recognized his car,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sehun tried not to look suspicious. “He just offered a ride home after the meeting. I’m... a little sick.”

“He’s giving you free rides now? I didn’t realize you guys were close,” she spat.

“What are you doing here, Wen?” he asked with a heavy sigh.

“I tried texting you and you haven’t replied. So, I wanted to make sure you hadn’t passed out or something,” she said.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I was busy with Aaden.”

Wendi scoffed then. “You guys are on a _first_ name basis now?”

Shrugging, Sehun brushed past her. “I’m late for work.”

“You just said you’re sick. You’re going to go in today?” She hurried along. “What did Ford say about your assignment? Does he like it?”

“Yeah,” lied Sehun. Well, technically not a lie.

“Did you submit something already?”

“Just a couple of pages.” This was a lie.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said. “Why do _you_ get the special treatment?”

“I’m sure he’ll do the same for you if you asked him, Wen.”

“You bet I’m going to.” She was still pouting as Sehun reached his apartment. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m being such a pill. I just really want to write something to impress him. Actually, everyone in the class wants that. But I’m just cranky because everyone’s hogging my best friend.”

Sehun paused and turned to her with a sympathetic frown. “God, Wendi. I’m sorry I haven’t been spending much time with you.”

Leaning against the door, Wendi huffed, arms still folded. “You have a new boyfriend. You have gone to more meetings with Professor Ford than I have. You are writing a killer good paper, apparently. I guess... I feel left out.”

Smiling, Sehun wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Tell you what. How about we do something fun this weekend? Friday evening. No school talk. No third persons. Just you and I.”

Wendi smiled back. “Sounds cool.” She hugged Sehun back. “And... I really do want to know about your new boy. I am happy for you.”

Sehun sighed. “You really shouldn’t be. He’s not my... boy.” Technically, he was not a _boy_ at all.

“What’s the hold up? You guys banged, right?”

“That doesn’t mean anything, Wen.”

Wendi rolled her eyes. “Of course, it does. But let’s bitch about it on Friday.” She gave Sehun’s cheek a quick kiss before skipping away.

* * *

Bundled up in his bed later that night, Sehun smiled like an idiot to himself, reminiscing all the ways Aaden had kissed him this afternoon. He was bone-tired, but he still could not fall asleep yet. He kept checking his phone to see if Aaden would contact him.

He had not been able to stop thinking about what Aaden had said to him in the car either.

_You are a person who has made me feel something real in a long time..._

He was not just a body to Aaden, and the fact that Aaden wanted to reassure him of that made Sehun’s heart flutter. There was something more between them. There always had been.

His phone buzzed, and he jolted upright, grabbing his phone with his breath held.

_Sehun?_

Sehun’s grin went from sea to shining sea.

_Yeah_

A minute later, he received another text message from Aaden.

_This is Aaden. Did I wake you?_

Sehun chuckled to himself. Aaden sounded so formal even on text.

_No, I was up._

_Good,_ replied Aaden. _You have my number now : )_

Sehun took a moment to send a reply. _When can I see you again?_

_How about this weekend?_

Worrying his bottom lip, Sehun stared at the wall across him for a length, idly twiddling his thumbs. Then with a deep exhale, he typed, _Dinner?_

Aaden did not answer immediately. But when he did, Sehun could _feel_ the man’s hesitation through the phone.

_You want to come over for dinner?_

Sehun wanted to do something other than just have sex. Not that he was complaining, but he did not want their relationship – however non-existent it was – to be more than just sexual. If Aaden did not only see him as just a body, then he could at least invite Sehun over and feed him.

 _Yes. Like a nice, fancy dinner,_ replied Sehun.

He waited anxiously for Aaden’s response. He would not be surprised if Aaden refused him, though.

 _Sure,_ was Aaden’s answer. _How about Saturday evening? : )_

Sehun’s hands were trembling. He panted for a moment, unable to stop himself from beaming ear to ear.

_Saturday evening sounds good._

_Great. Do you like steak and red wine?_

_Yes. Can’t wait for Saturday then._

_Can’t wait._

Sehun put his phone down and leaned his head against the wall, drawing in a sigh, eyes closed. This was a date, wasn’t it? He was finally going on a date with Aaden. How was he supposed to get through the rest of the week? Saturday felt like it was too far away.

* * *

“So, what’s his name?” Wendi asked, lounging next to Sehun on the couch. They had been watching a rerun of _Friends_ on the TV all evening.

“Huh?”

“Your new boytoy.”

Sehun’s blood ran cold. He hated that he could not tell his best friend the truth. Wendi would be furious when/if she found out that the guy Sehun had been seeing was their Religious Studies professor. And even though Sehun would trust her with any secret of his, this one was not his to share. If he told her, he’d be outing Aaden, and he could not afford to risk that. Aaden might never forgive him for breaking his promise.

“He’s not my boytoy,” muttered Sehun in an attempt to change the topic.

“So, he’s not your boyfriend, and he’s not your boytoy. Then what is he?”

Sehun shrugged. “Friend with benefits?”

“That’s super lame,” she scoffed. “Do you love him?”

“Wendi,” groaned Sehun, though his heart twisted.

“You love him,” she said. “Do you think he loves you?”

“I don’t know.”

“This is dangerous, Sehun.”

“Why?”

“Because have you ever seen a movie?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. “Falling for someone who doesn’t love you back does not in end happily-ever-afters, dude.”

“I don’t care about the end right now.”

“Don’t you think you should?”

Sehun reached for the bowl of popcorn and tried to divert his attention back to the show.

“Sehun,” Wendi called then. “I hope you know what you’re doing. Just don’t get hurt, all right?”

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I have thicker skin than you think.”

“It’s very weird, though.”

“What is?”

“How secretive you’re being about all this. You don’t even want to tell me his name.” She shrugged and grabbed a handful of popcorn, snuggling closer to Sehun’s side.

* * *

It was a date. Sehun had been on dates before, of course. But he had never been on a date as important as this one.

He spent all of Saturday morning thinking of subjects he could discuss with Aaden. There wasn’t much that he knew about the things that Aaden was passionate about. He wanted them to talk, nevertheless. About things that mattered. So, he would not be too upset if they did not end up sleeping together tonight.

They had talked to each other before, certainly. But most of the time, it was just bickering after sex. Tonight, Sehun wanted it to be different. He wanted Aaden to know that he could fit into the more complicated parts of his life. That he was not just a dewy-eyed kid who could not match his maturity.

Even if he believed that there was an inevitable dead end at the catharsis of their affair, he still wanted to try. He had never felt this way for anyone before. He never thought that he was the type of person to want to fight for someone or a relationship. But here he was, doing the things he never thought he would for a man.

He spritzed on some cologne and studied his reflection in the mirror. He looked fine, he thought. He wore a nice white shirt – the one his mom had bought him for his eighteenth birthday – with a pair of black jeans, untucked and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He looked skinny and atrociously lanky in this shirt, but he figured Aaden would appreciate it. It was _formaler_ than what Sehun wore on the daily.

He thought of putting on his leather shoes but decided against it. Biking with them would be a hassle.

After spending hours debating against bringing Aaden flowers – because that was cheesy as heck – he wound up at a pet store, where he got Aaden’s dog a pack of dog treats.

Why? Because falling in love had turned his brain to mush.

He had texted Aaden last night to confirm the time.

 _7pm should be good,_ Aaden had texted.

They texted each other nightly. In fact, Aaden was the last person Sehun talked to every night before falling asleep for the past week. At the lecture last Thursday, Sehun could not help but simper sheepishly every time Aaden’s eyes would betray him and look in his way.

It was fun to tease the man like that. He liked it too much whenever Aaden blushed at his expense.

They did not talk much when they texted. It was usually:

_How was work today?_

To which Aaden replied, _Tiring but not too bad,_ or something along that line.

And it was more than enough. It might be bare minimum for some, but for Sehun, it was ample. For now, at least.

As much as Sehun did not want to overdo it on his bike and show up at Aaden’s all sweaty and mussed up, he could not wait any longer.

He dropped his bike onto Aaden’s lawn before he skipped up the porch steps and rang the doorbell.

When Aaden opened the door, Sehun’s jaw nearly fell to the ground.

“Sehun,” said Aaden, greeting him with a pleasant smile. “Come on in.”

It took Sehun a moment to snap out of his trance and speak. “You’re wearing an... apron.”

Aaden laughed. “Not exactly one of the seven wonders of the world, Sehun.”

Sehun wanted to tell him that only he could make wearing an apron look sexy. He walked in and refrained himself from lurching forward and kissing the man.

The smell of delicious food swirled in the air all around him. He had starved himself all day – for practical purposes – and he could not wait to eat something. He took his shoes off and set them aside.

Odis stood at the top of the stairs, yawning. He must have woken up from his nap to come take a look at the visitor. He did not look as interested as he had been when Sehun was first here.

“Uh,” Sehun muttered, turning to Aaden. He fished the dog treats out of his pocket and handed it over. “I got these for... Odis.”

Aaden broke into another laugh. “Thanks,” he said. “So, you thought to get my dog treats and not me?”

“Am I not an enough treat for you?” asked Sehun.

The cheeky comment made Aaden clear his throat coyly. “I’m almost finished with dinner.”

Sehun followed him into the dining room. “Wow.”

It was breath-taking. There were candles everywhere, wineglasses, flowers, chinaware. It was not what Sehun had expected. It was better. So much better.

“Sit,” Aaden muttered, sliding a hand across Sehun’s waist as he walked past Sehun. “I’ll get some wine.”

“Do you host dinner parties often?” Sehun asked, taking a seat.

“Sometimes,” said Aaden as he fetched a bottle of wine and uncorked it.

“So, you can cook?”

Aaden shrugged. “I think I’m decent enough.”

Sehun bit his lip. “Wow,” he let out. “Is there anything you _can’t_ do?”

Chuckling, Aaden poured some wine into the two wineglasses. “I’m sure you have your fair share of accomplishments.”

“Yeah, well, I played... soccer in high school,” said Sehun diffidently. He picked up his glass and sipped some of the velvety wine. “This is good.”

“You played soccer?”

Sehun nodded. “Started in sophomore and was captain in senior.”

“That’s great.”

Sehun snorted. “That’s pretty much it.”

Aaden gave him a sympathetic look. “You’re still very young. Cut yourself some slack.”

“What were you doing when you were my age?”

“Exactly what _you’re_ doing,” he said, sitting down.

“Chasing after a man way out of your league and flunking your Religious Studies class?”

Aaden scratched his beard and took a sip of his wine. “You are not flunking the class, Sehun.”

“I haven’t written anything down,” he admitted.

Aaden frowned then. “You haven’t?”

“I’m... starting to.”

“Sehun,” Aaden said with a grave tone then. “You need to concentrate more on your assignment. I hope you’re not... distracted by...”

“I’m not,” said Sehun. “I promise. I’ll get to it.”

Heaving a sigh, Aaden stood up. “Food should be ready now.”

* * *

Aaden was better than a decent cook. Just when Sehun thought the man could not get any sexier, Aaden kept proving him wrong. A handsome man, who was successful, brilliant, patient, charismatic, and... well-armed, was also an incredible cook. Part of Sehun thought that Aaden was simply squandering all these fantastic, enviable traits.

“Why haven’t you gotten married?” Sehun asked mid-dinner. He wished that he could blame the rude question on the wine, but Aaden knew him well enough now to know he lost his filter whenever he was with the man.

Aaden coughed a little and drank some water. “What?”

“I’m just wondering,” said Sehun. “Don’t you worry about... what the people might speculate? A man like you... unwed.”

Aaden’s jaw tightened. “I think most of them believe I might join priesthood at some point. It is what my reverent parents have always wanted for me.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” rasped Sehun, his heart taking another crack. “You are not considering... priesthood, are you?”

Aaden chuckled. “No,” he said. “Well, maybe. I don’t know what the future holds.”

Sehun gripped the fork and knife in his hands a little too tight. “Oh.”

Noticing the discomfort in Sehun’s eyes, Aaden quickly said, “It won’t happen.”

“That’s your parents wanted for you, though? To become a priest?”

“At their local church, yes,” said Aaden, snickering a little. “It’s funny now when I think about how I always believed that, too.”

“Your family is that religious?”

“You have no idea,” scoffed Aaden. “I mean, I felt good. I always felt like I was doing the right thing. Like I was doing the _only_ right thing in the world. I liked praying, I liked preaching. They made me feel damn good about myself.”

“Then... why did you...” Sehun could find the right words to finish that question, but Aaden understood it, nonetheless.

He leaned back and brooded about something for a moment. “In my third year of high school, I met this boy named, Evan. We became friends quickly. We were from a small, Christian town. So, there was no way he could be openly out there, but he came out to me. He believed that I would not judge him. I didn’t. I should have, though. I should have guided him back to God’s path.”

Sehun was not sure why he did not hate Aaden for saying all those things. Probably because he knew that Aaden did not believe those things deep down.

“But I did not feel like he was... a mistake that needed correcting,” he continued. “Even before he came out, I felt... things for him. Unexplainable things. Indescribable. Things I’ve never felt even for girls. Like I would let a train run over me for him. I didn’t know what it was back then, of course. I was on my knees, praying and praying every night for these confusing feelings to go away. And then Evan told me he was... into boys. I didn’t say anything. He thought I was cool with it. Then, one summer evening, he... kissed me. I didn’t stop him then. But the next morning, I was terrified. I was so terrified that he would tell people, and I was going to get caught. So, I didn’t... talk to him again. I told him to never come near me again. He was heartbroken, but he was not apologetic for what had happened between us. A couple of months later, he and his family moved again, and I never saw him again.”

Sehun had stinging tears in his eyes. He swallowed a lump in his throat along with a few drops of wine. “You loved him, didn’t you?”

Aaden smiled sadly then. “We all have first loves that we never forget, Sehun,” he said, sighing. “I only wish that I could see him again and apologize for pushing him away like that. He was my best friend, and I was so cruel to him. I just... broke his heart so recklessly.”

Aaden was more than just complicated, Sehun realized. This was the life he had chosen for himself. A life full of faith, lies, secrets and heartbreaks.

“Your parents,” Sehun said at length. “Where are they now?”

“Back in my hometown,” answered Aaden.

“They don’t want you to find someone and settle down?”

Aaden laughed. “They tried a couple of times when I was young. They found a girl for me – a family friend – and told me that I needed to wait until we were married to have sex with her. I remember being so upset about that whole ordeal that I slipped into a local bar and had my first beer.”

Sehun shook his head. He could not understand this part, though.

“What is it?” asked Aaden.

“Nothing,” murmured Sehun, frowning. “I just... can’t wrap my head around what you just said. I can’t relate to any of it. My parents would never want me to be someone I’m not, and they certainly will not force me to do such things.”

“My parents love me, Sehun,” said Aaden. “It’s just that their love is different from your parents’.”

“And you were okay with that?”

“I was like seventeen,” he sniggered. “And terrified of my father. It was a backward town.”

“You’re not there anymore, though. People don’t judge you for whom you love here, Aaden,” Sehun said, frowning deeply, reaching across the table to take hold of Aaden’s hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. People like me have it easy, huh?”

Aaden stared at Sehun’s hand that was holding his for a stretch. “I feel like a big part of it is my fault, though.”

“How so? You can’t choose who you want to love, Aaden.”

“But I can stop myself from acting on it.” He drew a sharp breath. “And look at me now. I’m almost forty, and I still sin every single day like a fucking bastard in church. Of all the people, I had to go and do this with a student half my age.”

He pulled his hand from Sehun’s and scrubbed his face before filling up his wineglass once more.

Sehun sat still in his seat, staring blankly at nothing. He could have never guessed that someone who appeared to be as confident as Aaden would harbour so much self-hatred and self-doubt.

“What are you thinking?” Aaden asked after a long moment of silence.

Sehun looked up at him with a frown. “You know,” he said quietly. “I might not think I’m the most sophisticated or interesting or erudite person, but I am happy with myself. I am surrounded by people who accept and love me for who I am.”

Aaden listened to this carefully.

“I wouldn’t want to change who I am even for a second,” added Sehun. “Falling for someone... who constantly wishes he was someone else... feels like a cruel joke the universe is trying to play on me. I know that I said that I can do this with you, play along just the way you want me to. Because that’s how much I have actually fallen for you, Aaden Ford. But if I am just going to be another passing cloud in your life that you’d regret every day and pray to be rid of, then I’m not sure I want to do this any longer. I can’t do that to myself.”

He stood up.

“You can’t go on like this, Aaden,” he said to the man, who was gawking at him in something like disbelief. “This... hate will ruin you one day. And it’ll ruin those who love you, too.”

He started to walk away, wiping the tears that fell from the corners of his eyes. He stopped and glanced back at Aaden.

“You’re probably right about first loves that no one forgets,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget you, Aaden.”

With that, he walked out of there, and Aaden did not pursue him.

* * *

He skipped Monday’s classes, and Wendi sent him her notes later, along with some gratuitously long messages about how upset she was that he ditched her without warning. Sehun had gone home to his parents on Sunday and had decided to stay until Monday.

His mother made him a heavy breakfast before she left for work, along with a small note on the kitchen island that read, _‘Love you always, and you can always talk to me about anything’_. The lovely message was accompanied by a rainbow heart sticker.

Sehun folded and pocketed the paper. His mother often left him such notes, especially when he had first come out to them as bisexual. She must have sensed that something was wrong since he showed up unannounced on Sunday morning with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

“You sure you don’t want to stay another day?” his father asked when Sehun stepped out of the house on Monday afternoon.

“No,” said Sehun. “I have a ton of assignments, and I have to go school tomorrow, Dad.”

“And you don’t want me to drive you?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll take the train.”

He gave his father a hug goodbye and ignored his brother, who stuck his tongue out at him from behind their father.

“Tell mom I’ll call her later,” he said before he got in the cab.

“You better,” his father said, closing the cab door. “Or she’ll come looking for you. She’s been really worried about you lately.”

“I’m fine, Dad.”

“Good. Take care, bud.”

* * *

When he reached home, his phone buzzed. He sighed heavily and decided that he would read the text message from his mother later. He needed a shower first.

Later, climbing into his bed with a cup of noodles, he grabbed his phone. His heart leaped to his throat when he realized it wasn’t a text from his mom, but from Aaden.

 _You weren’t in class today,_ read the text. _Are you ok?_

“Are you okay?” grumbled Sehun. Aaden could not possibly be this oblivious, could he?

Sehun should not answer at all, but he could not help it.

 _Feeling just peachy,_ he typed and sent it before typing in another message. _Thanks for asking._

He hoped that the messages sounded facetious enough.

Aaden replied almost immediately, much to Sehun’s surprise.

_Need to see you._

Sehun swallowed, reading the text over and over again for a while. The urgency of the text made his chest clench. Aaden _needed_ to see him. Not _want_ but _need_. Like how one would _need_ air to breathe.

 _Why,_ replied Sehun.

_Just do._

Sehun’s breathing hastened.

_At class on Thursday?_

_Now,_ replied Aaden.

 _I don’t want to,_ said Sehun, even though he very much did. _I’m tired and I’m already in bed._

Aaden took some time to text back now. But when he did, Sehun stopped breathing.

_Please._

Sehun thought about this for a good length. What were the possible scenarios if he let Aaden come over? His apartment was a total mess, and he did not think he wanted to listen to Aaden’s pleas to keep their former affair a secret anymore.

_Fine._

He did not receive a reply.

Only some fifteen minutes later, he heard his doorbell ring violently. He buzzed Aaden in at the front door and unlocked his apartment’s door, waiting anxiously like a cat on hot bricks.

He opened the door as soon as he heard a knock.

Holding it slightly open, he stared at Aaden as the man stared back at him, almost breathlessly. He was still clad in the clothes he wore to the lectures, and his hair was not as kempt as it usually was.

“Are you not going to ask me to come in?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Sighing, Sehun opened the door wider to let him in before he closed it behind them. “What is it, Aaden?”

Aaden huffed a loud breath as he turned around and faced Sehun. “Why weren’t you at class today?”

Sehun shrugged. “Went to see my parents,” he said.

Aaden’s eyes narrowed.

Sehun rolled his. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I didn’t tell them anything.”

There was some relief in Aaden’s face, but it was still all scrunched up. “I was... worried.”

Sehun leaned back against the door, sticking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “Why? Did you think I was going to do something stupid, like rat on you? I’m heartbroken, but I’m not a bad guy.”

“That’s not what I was worried about,” Aaden snarled then, lunging a step forward, as though he wanted to pounce on Sehun and snap his neck. He stopped himself to inhale deeply. “You always make me out to be a cruel man, who only cares about his reputation.”

Sehun could not help but scoff. “Well, aren’t you?”

Aaden clenched his teeth. “No, I’m not, Sehun,” he spat. “There are things that are more important to me than that.”

“But I’m not one of those things, am I?” Sehun was still using a mocking tone because he knew that it was effective. He wanted to see how far he could push Aaden again. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Why are you making this so difficult for me?”

“The fact that you see me as something _difficult_ is hurtful, Aaden,” Sehun blurted out then. “Do you think I asked for this? Do you think I wanted to fall for a guy who refuses to live his truth and worst of all, is my fucking professor?”

Aaden’s expression softened. “Why are you doing this?” he asked gently now. There was some pain in his eyes, too. “You can do so much better, Sehun. You are so young. You are so beautiful. And the way you... are confident with yourself most of all is... more valuable than anything I’ve ever achieved in my life. Why would you even want someone like me in the first place?”

“Have you not been listening?” snapped Sehun, hands balled into fists at his sides. “We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with, Aaden. It’s horrible, but it’s not a choice we get to make.”

Aaden swallowed hard.

“But you are right about one thing,” added Sehun. “We can choose not to act on our feelings, though. And I shouldn’t have acted on mine. I didn’t think... it would be this hard.”

He stood frozen against the door as Aaden started walking towards him to close the gap. “I had acted on my feelings, too,” said Aaden, raising a hand to cup Sehun’s cheek when he was close enough. “And like every good thing in my life, I tried to keep you at bay. But I can’t. I don’t know why, even if I know that I shouldn’t do this, I can’t stop myself.”

Sehun stayed silent as words failed him. Having Aaden this close always drained all the fight from his body. Suddenly, all that he was thinking about was how Aaden’s lips were at his reach and all that he would have to do was lean in.

“When you... walked out on me the other night,” said Aaden, in a whispery voice, his hand dropping from Sehun’s face to his neck. “I nearly lost it. I wanted to go after you. But I thought about it for a second. You will be better off without me in your life, Sehun.”

“Because you don’t want me as much,” said Sehun.

“Because I don’t want to string you along on this ride. Because you were right. It will ruin you in the end, too.”

“Then what are you doing here, Aaden?” asked Sehun, splaying a hand on Aaden’s chest.

Breathing hard, Aaden pressed their foreheads together and lightly kissed Sehun’s upper lip. It might have been their most sensuous kiss yet, even though it lasted for less than two seconds.

“Because I _can’t_ let you go,” he breathed against Sehun’s lips. “I can’t... bring myself to do that.”

Sehun fisted the other man’s shirt. “Do you know what you’re saying right now?”

Aaden nodded weakly. “I can’t change everything right away. I cannot power through this blindly. Not yet. But I want to try, Sehun. Slowly. It won’t be easy, but I cannot let go of this... second chance.”

“It definitely won’t be easy,” muttered Sehun.

“Are you willing to... be patient?”

Sehun did not answer, because he was not sure what it should be.

Aaden pulled back a little. “You can take the time you need,” he said. “I will stay away if you decide that having me out of your life is what’s best for you.”

Sehun drew a deep breath. “I want you, Aaden,” he said, and it made Aaden’s eyes sparkle for a moment. “But there are just so many... uncertainties.”

“Give me some time,” said Aaden. “Please. To figure everything out. But I know one thing. I need you in my life.”

“We can go even far away from here,” suggested Sehun in a daze. His head was spinning. “One day.”

Aaden smiled then. “How about we start with a date? A proper one this time. One where I don’t freak you out and have you run for the hills.”

Sehun chuckled despite himself, wrapping his arms around Aaden’s neck. “That sounds good.”

As he drew Aaden in for a long, languid kiss before they stumbled over to his bedroom where they did nothing but kiss all night, he told himself that he could be patient for Aaden. It was all a process, after all. He was the key to Aaden’s happiness that had been locked away for far too long. It was not going to be easy for either of them, but as long as they were willing to try, they deserved a happily-ever-after, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! <3


End file.
